188: Emotional Safety: 3 Myths About Domestic Abuse

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From Betrayal To Breakthrough

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Domestic abuse is traumatic for anyone, especially when the person is unaware that they were being abused. Many people often use the violation of physical safety as the primary measure of domestic abuse. However, Anne Blythe believes that the violation of emotional safety is the most important measure. And being able to identify emotional and psychological abuse is the first step towards healing. About Guest/Topic Anne Blythe is the producer and host of the Betrayal Trauma Recovery Podcast and founder of Betrayal Trauma Recovery—a daily online support group for women who are the victims of emotional abuse. She sheds light on topics such as gaslighting and other forms of emotional and psychological abuse. Anne’s goal is to help women identify the emotional and psychological abuse situations before a physical event happens. Her organization helps women who are victims of male perpetrators and give them immediate safety. In this episode, Anne Blythe debunks three myths about domestic abuse and shares ways to immediately recover from such trauma. In This Episode Discover why emotional safety should be used to gauge domestic abuse Understand the healing process to recover from emotional and physical abuse Learn how to talk to abuse victims in the right approach Identify when gaslighting occurs Learn how to deal with domestic abuse Debunk 3 domestic abuse myths Quotes “I don’t believe a physical violent episode can just take place in a vacuum unless it’s someone that you don’t know that’s just like randomly in the street. But if it’s someone that you have a relationship with, there have been elements of emotional and psychological abuse that precede that physical event.”  [02:25] “Betrayal can happen on both sides in men and women.” [06:08] “(Gaslighting is) when someone is trying to hide something, decides to alter your reality so that you live in an alternate reality with them and because you’re living in this alternate reality with them, you can’t see the signs of what’s really happening.” [09:57] “(Abuse is) never a communication issue. I have met some of the most amazing women who communicate so well and they’re not able to communicate their way out of abuse.” [17:24] “Why don’t women get out of abusive relationships? I think the number one answer is they don’t know that they’re in one.” [20:37] “You’re not going to be ever emotionally safe with someone who’s lying to you, with someone who’s willing to manipulate you, with someone who is more concerned with their secret behaviors than they are about your feelings. You’re never going to be safe with someone who is willing to violate your sacred trust of things you genuinely care about.” [26:17] “Abuse is something that is bigger than any of us. It is a societal problem, and in many cases, it’s a misogynistic problem. It’s a problem perpetuated by rape culture, pornography, and all types of different societal scripting and religious scripting.”  [30:35]   Resources Mentioned Anne Blythe’s website Anne Blythe’s books Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz PBT Institute PBT Institute Membership Community