#80: The Validation Obsession

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This podcast wouldn't exist. If I let the answer to the question, "but what will they think?" govern my life, this podcast wouldn't exist.  A few years ago, it came to me that it was probably time for me to start sharing all of the things I'd been learning over the years about spirituality and personal growth. But I also had an image of myself as "intellectual" and "ambitious," and was terrified that the people around me would look down on me for doing something so "soft" or "woo-woo."  I was paralyzed by the fear of their judgment. Sound familiar to anyone? It wasn't until I finally came out with it, and started doing all of this (in a very public way, I might add), that the ideas started flowing to me and I found my groove. In short, I had to first get into the water to learn how to swim.  So this week's episode is about validation. Why is craving the validation of people around you bad for your life? Well, for starters, it dulls your creative problem-solving capacity. If you are constantly seeking to fit into the box that other people have made for you, you are probably going to make some very boring stuff. Sometimes it takes moving to France, away from the people and life you know to become the best version of your artistic self.  Second, nothing anyone says will ever fill the void. If someone approves of you, or gives you a compliment, it's going to feel so good... for 4 hours until you start craving it and need another hit. Validation is a drug. It's a bottomless pit that will never actually satisfy you. Two important things: 1. This conversation sits on privilege. Women, people of color, LGBT individuals, immigrants, persons with disabilities, etc. do not always have the privilege of marching to the beat of their own drummer. We discuss this at length in the podcast. 2. So you listened to the podcast and now want to learn how to seek validation within? Great. Listen to this episode on self-worth and enoughness (http://annikaep.com/blog/self-worth-and-enoughness/). And then listen to this one called you're already at the party, now what? (http://annikaep.com/blog/the-inner-work-youre-already-at-the-party-now-what/) mailing list: eepurl.com/bEOU5z website: http://annikaep.com/ twitter: twitter.com/annikaep instagram: www.instagram.com/annikaep/