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A couple of weeks ago, an actor dressed as SpongeBob Squarepants was detained by the LAPD in front of Grauman’s Chinese Theater on Hollywood Boulevard for what the Police Department described as a “brief incident with two females.” All the local news outlets, blogs and e-rags (including Surreal LA) assumed that the incident was SpongeBob's fault. But, according to several eyewitnesses, SpongeBob was the victim. Last week, Valley Girl and I ventured into the bowels of Hollywood to find out what really happened to SpongeBob. All we had to go on was this photo of SpongeBob face down on Hollywood Boulevard. Yeah, I know, it's fucking precious. Our first stop was the scene of the crime: Grauman's Chinese Theater -- a mecca for clueless tourists, who pay out-of-work actors dressed as super heroes to take their pictures with them. Many of these characters have been known to be a little on the aggressive side when attempting to collect coin from passersby. See, the law states that the actors are allowed to be tipped, but are NOT allowed to demand money. But in my opinion, if you are another tourist littering Hollywood Blvd., you deserve a little harassment from a meth-faced Jack Sparrow. I digress. So, it was easy for everyone to assume that SpongeBob had gotten out-of-line with the two females in question. But when Valley Girl and I encountered the Green Lantern and his sidekick Kato, they were able to shed light on the real story. Green Lantern told Surreal L.A. that the teenage girls were the ones antagonizing SpongeBob with a slew of Your Momma jokes and physical taunting. "So, one of the young ladies walked up to SpongeBob and started talking a whole bunch of garbage to him" and then followed him from Hollywood and Highland to the theater, where the altercation got heated. Green Lantern alledges that the girls began kicking SpongeBob and attempted to take off his costume. He also alleges that the LAPD watched the entire incident and did not make a move until SpongeBob decided to defend himself. Listen to the entire interview here: Green Lantern Interview No one was arrested. The parties in question were detained for a short while, but I guess the LAPD decided that Los Angeles had bigger villians to contend with than a down-on-his-luck sponge and a couple of mallrats with anger issues.