EP121: Why You Have Zero Control in Mate Selection

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The Intimate Lifestyle

Health & Fitness


The Intimate Lifestyle yearns to help everyone in finding their ideal relationships, fixing existing ones, and simply understanding one’s self better. We’ve provided in the past few episodes the best resources to aid with dating, matchmaking, and even breakups. This time, we have a key resource joining the show to dig a little deeper into our belief systems. I’m honoured to have Julie Turner – life coach, matchmaker, and hypnotherapist – on this episode. We will talk about our motivations in life and the unseen things which causes the challenges we encounter. Somewhere along the mix we also professed our love for Ford and discussed our musical abilities (mostly her abilities and my lack thereof). Listen until the very end as I share a secret to getting girls (not my secret though, some other guy’s). Topics that sprung up on this longer than usual conversation include: How our ego is a protective mechanism that keeps us safe but could also result in our fears and anxieties (02:44). Kids' process of understanding and its relationship to Neuro-Linguistic Programming for adults (08:06). How Julie got interested in hypnotherapy and integrating with her existing coaching career (11:54). What hypnosis really is and what it does to our consciousness (14:01). Resisting hypnosis and the best candidates for hypnosis (19:58). Why I prefer using the term unconscious when referring to the subconscious (21:22). The beginnings of a belief system, how it can sabotage your relationships, and listening to your authentic self (25:16). The process of developing your life's metanarrative and the fallacy of generalization (28:08). Overcoming being victimized by our belief systems and how the universe conspires so we see things clearer (31:17). A story that illustrates how the ego "protects" an individual based on one's learned behavior (34:21). Distinguishing ego from intuition, and the perils of labeling everything (39:16). Blurring relationship labels and how the concept of forever can be ruining human relationships (43:58). Applying hypnotherapy to help people to get the relationships they truly want or fix current ones (49:56). The importance of ruffling some feathers and challenging the status quo (59:14). How unhappiness is brought about by assumptions and expectations (1:02:20). What Julie sees as the general difference between men and women's approach to relationships (1:06:09). I enjoyed talking to Julie so much! It is kind of uncanny how much of our thoughts and beliefs matched. I like her so much I unleashed my creepy virginal teenage boy persona on her… I might have a crush on her (or is she the female version of me?). As an advocate of self-love and personal growth, I am fully endorsing Julie’s services. If you feel like you need her in your life, visit JulieTurnerMatchmaker.com. There you can find the full menu of the coaching, matchmaking and workshop services she is offering. If you want to keep updated on upcoming events where Julie is featured or she is hosting, follow her Facebook page. I would appreciate it if you can share this episode with your network, if they need help sorting their inner stuff out – or if they just need a good laugh. For feedback, suggestions, and inquiries, give me a shout out at info [at] theintimatelifestyle.com – I’d love to hear from you.   Like us on Facebook and Instagram! And help us out by leaving a rating and a review in iTunes.   Check out our Resource Page.