About

They say the truth hurts. I think that's an understatement. So far during this podcast, I've discussed a lot of the physical and verbal abuse from my mom growing up. I never really had the bond that most of my friends have with their mom. I know a lot of people who travel with their mom, talk to her everyday, and feel like they are best friends. Even those who don't have the "best friend" relationship can at least rely on their mom to be there for them, even as adults. If they need general advice about a new job, they'd be able to get it without being lectured or told how weak they are for leaving an environment that isn't good for them. If they needed financial help with something, like a medical bill or college tuition. Most of all, if something was going on with their health, their mom would so whatever it takes to help solve their suffering. In October 2018, I got a Facebook message from someone who said that I had "biological family" looking for me, specifically a mom and siblings. She said she knew where I was born, where I grew up, and that I deserved to know the truth about my life. She asked if it was ok if my oldest sister sent me a message on Facebook to connect. This would be a total surprise or even feel like a joke to most people who believed their biological parents had already raised them. The main reason I didn't hesitate to believe it is because of things my mom often said to me growing up. She's say stuff like, "I should have left you where you were" or randomly say that I had older siblings who lived in another state. I always thought she was just saying these things out of disappointment or just to bother me as usual. I had no idea she actually meant the things she was off-handedly saying to me in anger. I had no idea that this was me finally getting an answer to why my childhood was so toxic. When I called to ask my parents about this, I definitely didn't get the reaction I expected. What I got was a lot of finger-pointing, blaming, and not a single feeling of remorse. It even took them a few days to admit the truth. What hurt the most is knowing they intentionally kept this from me while I was being treated for migraines and chest pain. Since 2014, I've been in and out of urgent care centers and doctor's offices trying to figure it out. There was even a time I temporarily lost vision in one of my eyes during an episode. We tried different medications based off of the family information I was giving the doctors. I had even called and texted to confirm details of family medical history, and not once did they consider my life while continuing to lie to me. What if I had died based on a bad reaction to one of the medications? But none of that mattered to them because I was "never supposed to find out." But it didn't end there. In learning about my biological family, I learned that I'm actually not the baby. I have a sister who is just a year younger than me. How could it have been so hard for my biological mother to give me up, how could it be that there wasn't a way for me to be a part of the family, but things suddenly changed a year later? The day I found out about my adoption was one of the most freeing and one of the most heartbreaking days of my life. I still have a lot of questions, and I'm honestly not sure if I want to meet my biological family. Listen to the full details. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/tomompodcast/message