Miscellaneous
This week, Tracy talks about how you can learn to not be be a nag bag. She shares 5 helpful tips that you can use to get your teen to do things just because they want to. This is followed by another of Tracy's helpful and relaxing Hypnotherapy Meditations, specifically designed to help you with your relationship with your teenager. You can also download these and listen to them again. Tracy can be contacted as follows: Website: www.tracykimberg.com Phone: 07928 154054 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/tracy.kimberg.therapy Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/tracy-kimberg-teenage-transformation-therapist-9564a3193/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tracy_kimberg_teentherapist/ hello. My name is Tracy. Kimberg welcome to the waves of clarity. I am a teenage therapist and a relationship specialist. My passion, of course, is teenagers helping them find their super power so that they can use throughout their life as they grow into adulthood and become more aware of how they behavior influences they world. I believe that relationships are built. From knowing exactly what your superpower is to that you can use that to help you overcome difficult situations and build better relationships. We all have a super power that we can tune into. And when we do this, we can do extraordinary things. We can help ourselves overcome, um, storms and tides of life. We can help other people, we can improve relationships and we can reach goals and dreams that we have for ourselves. We can even change our own behavior when we tune into our own superpowers. Today, I'd like to talk to you about nagging as a parent. I'm sure. You've heard yourself say these phrases, clean your room, do your homework. Have you done your chores? You can't go out until you've done this. Why haven't you done that? If you have a team you will know full and well, that this is a very, very tricky part of parenting journey. I speak from experience. As I currently have three daughters still living at home, the one is 16. The one is 21 and the one is 25. And sometimes it feels like I am such an ag bag. Most parents of teens. No, they sound like a broken record and it's painful. So painful, not just for us to hear. But also for our teens, but no one appreciates nagging, believe it or not, there's a far better way. And I promise you, it works. Okay. When we were growing up, our parents probably nagged us as well. And you might've even promised yourself when you were young, that you would never, ever sound anything. Like your parents and none of that nagging would ever come out of your mouth. But the reality is if you're a parent of a teenager, you've probably already used a variation of these words that I mentioned earlier. And in despite of the very best intentions, you can't help yourself. But why is this? It's likely because at some point you were just too tired or too stressed. To figure it out and think about the alternatives that you could possibly use. It just seems more natural to tell your team to do things rather than giving them a gentle push. They might need that you would have made them choose that action just because they wanted to. So the secret is to get your teenage motivated, motivated to do what you're asking to do. And I'm going to share you a few tips on how you can do this. So let's start with tip number one, start by being the voice of reason in the middle of the storm. As you know, our teens get so stressed and easily overwhelmed. And when this happens, they just want to shut down and be left alone at worst. They likely to make serious, um, decisions leading to usually a bigger, a bit of a disaster. Today. I'd like to share my five magic tips with you on how you can help yourself to stop nagging number one, and to help your teenager be motivated to do the things that you ask them without having to repeat yourself numerous times. So the first tip is start by being the voice of reason in the middle of the store. When your teenager is stressed and overwhelmed at best they'll shut down, which is normal at worst, they're likely to make a series of decisions leading to a complete and utter disaster, but when they hit this panic, it all falls to you as the parents to calm the chaos. As you know, it always is our job to try and sort out their moods and calm them down. But yes, it sometimes feels like that you all stuck in the middle of all this chaos. So we need to accept that parenting teens can be tough and even having this awareness, instead of fighting the reality of it can help us. Build our strength and resilience because it prevents us from jumping to the conclusion that maybe we are bad at parenting. And then we have all these thoughts going through our heads, telling us I'm a terrible parent. Why can't I do it? Right? The truth is that raising teenagers can be really, really tough. So let your team know in a calm way, what your expectations are of them and how you can help them rather than jumping into a rapid fire set of instructions. Once they are calm. In a response, obviously to your calmness, they will better able to make their own decisions and probably wiser decisions. My second tip is to give your team clarity so they can see themselves for who they truly are. Oh, It's no secret that teams typically have a pretty skewed vision of themselves. And, and they don't often see the things that their parents do. They're also inclined to think that they're always right and you wrong. They also think that they can do whatever they like. They sometimes think they deserve things and privileges that they haven't really earned yet. But the bottom line is that they are still learning and growing in life, they are still trying to figure out their own values. So learn to ask the right questions that guide your team and helps your team to start seeing their strengths and their talents. And the only way they can do that is if you point them out. So prod these good qualities into the spotlight and then show them how they can use these skills to solve the problem at hand. If you remind your teenager how much you see their good qualities and strengths and how they li you believe, sorry that they can actually overcome whatever it is they're going through and whatever task is they have at hand that you believe that they can do it and do it well, they will start believing it too. The third step is become the researcher and the guidance counselor. All rolled up into one, rather than giving your team a dozen options, show them where to find them. That is part of how they learn to become more independent in life by learning to do things themselves, make their own choices, instead of depending on others to save them or others, to help them choose. Talk to them about their goals and then discuss ways to find that information, encourage them, encourage them to, um, face the reality of the pros and the cons. And in coach him to talk to mentors and counselors at school, or even family members that they look up to and guide them to the pathway of discovery. So the fourth magic tip I have to share with you today is become your child's brainstorming, buddy. I love doing this with my children, where we set and we share ideas and options. And a lot of the time I'll be honest with you. Their ideas and options are a lot more creative than mine. So when your tin gets stuck, Which of course we all do. And of course they will do at some point feel stuck instead of jumping into tell them what to do, just be quiet and ask them, take the time to have a proper talk and ask them what they think the alternative choice would be or what would happen if they did an opposite thing. They may not initially see the value of this conversation and might feel a bit frustrated because you're not giving them the answer. But knowing that. You are willing to talk and guide them. And then you have someone to talk to, um, as a teenager that you can really go to your parents and talk and figure it out together is so important. They need to know. They can throw out ideas without being worried that they're going to be told that it's stupid idea or no, that will never work. Just talk about the idea, play with the different options with them and don't um, um, because if we don't do this, they will feel that they have to censor themselves until they can find the right onset in inverted commerce. There is no right onset. We are all just figuring it out together. And this brings us to the last tip number five, which is become a cheerleader. I love being my children's cheerleader. It's such a fun job. You know what it feels like when someone tells you that you've done something well, that you're really good at something. How does it make you feel? It makes you feel pretty good, right? It only makes sense that we as parents need to praise the efforts of our teams and celebrate their successes. It feels so much better then hassling your team for the slightest thing they've left undone or for the failures that they've met along the way. Ask yourself now, really ask yourself. Think about this question. Do I shine a spotlight on my team's successes or only on their shortcomings? And think about the answer and I'll share a big secret with you today. The magic key to stop or minimize nagging is for us as parents to make a conscious decision to do so. You get to decide you as the parent, you are the parent and you get to choose which approach you take with your teenager. If something isn't working, you can change it. Look for the alternative way that works. Look. For what works with your child? I hope you enjoyed this episode. And please, of course, if you did enjoy it, I encourage you to share it, share it with someone, you know, a parent that's maybe having a frustrated time with their children and feels like they are turning into a real old nag bag, share this post. And hopefully someone will find value. Don't forget that after this episode, I'm going to do another free hypnotherapy download for you. Very exciting. And this hypnotherapy download is going to help you just find peace and calmness within yourself and just recenter into the choices that you make and how you can consciously make choices that will work better for you in your relationship with your child. Thank you for listening everyone. And of course, if you need to get in touch, then you know where to find me on my social media, just DM me and set up a meeting. I do a free discovery call for you, where we can discuss and see what it is you need help with. And if I am the right person to help you with it. Have a lovely week and enjoy the meditation. Welcome to the meditation and hope you are very comfortable and ready to enjoy this meditation, which is going to help you calm and relax yourself so that you. In effect, we'll be able to have clarity on the choices you make without going into a normal autopilot mode of nagging or doing something that you will later. Great. So. Find yourself, a comfortable position, sit back and relax, listen to the music and listen to my voice. And as you said, very comfortably or lie down, just breathe normally and notice the movement of your eyes. As you breathe and you can close your eyes all the way down. Alrighty. Beginning to relax both body and mind. Relax, your forehead smoothing out, uh, relaxing the tiny muscles around them cheeks. And Slack allow your tongue to just lie in your mouth. Just the muscles in your tongue. Relaxing, move down, down your neck. And notice how you send a wave of relaxation down your neck, into your shoulders. And repeat after me, I am safe. I am calm and I choose to be here. Okay. And I am safe. I am calm. I choose to be here now. Focus on your arms. All the way down to your fingertips, releasing all the stress and tension. As we often hold stress and tension in our hands and in our shoulders, focus on your chest and your abdomen as you breathe. I want you to take three. Slow deep breath, counting four counts on your inhalation and four slow counts as your exhale. That's good. And do that again. And a piece of Ken after me, I'm safe, I'm calm. And I choose to be here and twice I'm safe. And I choose to be here. And again, I am safe. I am calm. I choose to be now allow yourself to in your unconscious mind. Just scan over your whole body and as you're too, so to techs and hidden stresses, any hidden tension that you're holding in your body and just breathe into it, allowing it to release. And I'd like you to think of someone who you consider as a very wise person, someone you would ask advice from, it might be someone from your past. It might be someone, you know, today. Might be someone in history. And when you have a face in your imagination, I'd like you to just hold a day. As we walk into a beautiful green field and in the corner of the field, you notice a bench. In the far corner and the field is on the top of a beautiful Hill, overlooking the ocean. It's very peaceful. It's a lovely sunny day and you feel really calm. As you walk over to this bench and you sit down and you enjoy the view, feeling really relaxed, and then you look up and you notice a figure walking towards you. And it's that person, that person that you saw in your imagination and they're walking right towards you. And they have a big smile on your face. On their face and on your face, you both have a smile as if you've known each other your whole life and they come and sit next to you and they say they have an amazing, extraordinary gift for you. And you look in their holding a beautiful box. And they say that this is a gift for you. And you ask what's in the box and they say, it's the gift of understanding and patience and you take the box and you open it up and as you open it up, you notice. Starting to float all around you. And as you breathe, your whole body absorbs the slides. As you breathe in this amazing gift that this person is giving you. This gift is going to help you to have understanding. And patience as you keep breathing in this beautiful space of the bench and this person you admire and the view, and you're holding the box, this gift. And you feel it becoming one with yourselves, going into your mind, going even into your mouth, you feel it in your tongue, even feel it going into your thoughts, this wisdom and understanding. And you can feel the transformation happening within you. That's happening as you take another deep breath. Incredible energy. And you sit there with this person. And they give you three secrets that you need to hear and you hear them telling you three secrets and I'm going to allow you to listen. Very tentatively. Yes. Your special guest shares, three special secrets with you. Three secrets that are going to help you have more patience and understanding And then your special guest stands up. And walks back down the path as they came back slowly over the field to where you are now. Back into the chair on your bed and you feel really blessed and really conscious of this incredible gift that you have within you now of patients. Sit with that feeling become aware of it. Feel the gratitude you have because you have this within you just repeat after me. I have patience. I have patience. And understanding. And again, I have patience and understanding and when you're ready, you can open your eyes.