About

Kayla Hayes is a survivor of abuse who's now sharing her story in hopes of helping others. After surviving a horrific assault and dealing with months of recovery, she started her own organization, Rise Above, to inspire others and to raise awareness. You can find Kayla, here: https://www.facebook.com/InTheEndIWillRise/ https://www.instagram.com/kaylahayes101/ https://www.instagram.com/_intheendiwillrise/ You can find us, The Bulletproof Club, here: https://www.thebulletproofclub.com/ https://www.facebook.com/thebulletproofclub https://www.instagram.com/thebulletproofclub_/ https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCXXTm_aH_teaPcruqR0j66Q/videos You can find Danielle Esplin, here: https://www.danielleesplin.com/ https://www.instagram.com/danielleesplin https://www.facebook.com/officialdanielleesplin In this episode we discuss the following: [00:00] Intro: The Bulletproof Club and Kayla Hayes Introduction [01:28] Meeting Seth Fleury (ex-boyfriend) [02:19] Kayla Hayes Dating History [02:38] How Kayla Hayes Realized he wasn't the guy he pretended to be [03:40] Controlling behavior of Seth Fleury (concessions) [04:14] Discussing whether Kayla's family (mom) picked on the signs/abusive relationship [04:50] Discussing whether Kayla's friends picked up on the abuse [05:00] Friend Isolation [05:47] Feeling ashamed about abuse [06:07] Danielle thanking Kayla for being brave and transparent [06:27] Length of Kayla's relationship - past break ups [07:20] Discussing gaslighting, responsibility & accountability [08:03] Statistic - how many times it take the average person to leave an abusive relationship. Positive impact of these interviews. [08:18] Denial & looking for answers & avoidance [08:36] Mentality that kept her in her abusive relationship [08:44] Discussing desperation & loneliness [08:56] Reason for meeting up with Seth. Reason for breaking up. Why they met up the day of the assault. [10:07] Discussing Seth leaving to be in the Navy. [10:35] Discussing possibility of premeditation - cards Seth gave Kayla [11:;17] Discussing the "kiss" and the moment of the assault [11:59] Help of the good Samaritans [12:30] The moment Kayla realized Seth bit her lip off [12:18] Discussing the good Samaritans [13:45] The moment Seth ran off. [14:10] Where Seth went right after the attack {14:19} Kayla's mother not being home [14:29] Seth's ignorance {14:44} The moment the cops and ambulance arrived. Their reaction [15:10] Discussing the plastic surgery right after the attack [15:45] Discussing Kayla's scars [15:56] How the surgeon decided how to fix her lip and what to do [16:50] Kayla discussing how wonderful her surgeon was (the importance of a surgeon's compassion after an attack like this) [17:35] The amount of stitches required to fix her lip and the recovery process (duration) [18:13] Laser treatments [18:26] Second surgery [18:45] Danielle admiring Kayla - Kayla's strength and bravery [19:06] Danielle asking about staying overnight at the hospital. Discussing the hospital, assigning a psychologist. [19:37] How Kayla started to heal psychologically. How she found her healing [19:55] How her friends found out about the attack. Not being able to talk [20"05] Discussing not having her mom around at the time of the attack. How her mother found out about the attack. [20:50] Discussing Kayla's Facebook post - paramedics asking Kayla to speak. The moment Kayla realized she couldn't pronounce words in the ambulance. [22:13] Police - how the case started. Kayla's statement. [23:11] Duration of the court case. Seth's arrest on the 21st of October. [23:20] Seth being out and about for an entire year during the court case. Bail. His ankle monitor. [23:30] Seth Pleading guilty. [23:32] Kayla receiving horrifying calls from the GPS company of Seth's ankle monitor. [24:05] Kayla not going outside at the time alone. [24:14] Kayla moved house due to PTSD. [25:29] Seeing Seth again. Social media of Seth after the attack. Seth's behavior on social media. [26:00] Testifying against her abuser & impact statement in court. [26:57] Kayla's expectations in court - sentencing. [27:58] Asking Kayla about cognitive dissonance. [28:20] Kayla discussing self-blame and trying to help him. Realizing who Seth really is. [29:07] Asking Kayla what helped her to make that mental shift to see him for who he really is [30:00] Kayla's biggest life-changing experience after the attack. Who helped her the most during this difficult time [30:36] Reconnecting to her old friends (after isolation) [30:50] Kayla discussing the most damaging advice she got after the attack. Backlash [31:15] Discussing judgmental people trying to victim blame [31:49] Seth's sentencing [32:00] Her protection for when Seth gets out of prison [32:17] Kayla's practical steps she took to recover. Outlet for recovery. Sharing her story [33:15] Kayla's mindset - how she grew throughout the year since the attack [33:46] Media's involvement - Kayla breaking her silence on social media [35:10] Seth ruining his life, not Kayla - not blaming herself for his actions [35:30] Discussing a possible apology (letter) from Seth [35:59] Kayla discussing Rise Above & her scars [37:22] Discussing a video on Kayla's Facebook page - burning letters to abusers [38:07] Being sentimental & parting with things. Healing is a process [39:01] Thanking Kayla and discussing the impact of this interview. Raising awareness and helping others [39:39] Kayla's take-away message. Educating yourself. [40:14] Danielle discusses the importance of taking action [40:38] Kayla's plans with Rise Above [40:59] Danielle asking Kayla if she had other plans with her future before the attack happened. [41:16] Kayla finding her purpose in life. [41:31] Danielle and Kayla discussing their excitement to raise awareness together and keeping each other updated.