Arts
SUMMARY For more than 20 years, Heather Lende has written obituaries for the Chilkat Valley News in the tiny town of Haines, Alaska. Now, the New York Times bestselling author weaves her own life lessons together with recollections of the deceased. And we get Find the Good: Unexpected Lessons from a Small-Town Obituary Writer, a gentle, insightful memoir mixed with humor and sensitivity. More than a storyteller, Lende is a “story catcher” who knows the challenge of describing life with words that both honor the dead and bless the living. But she manages well. "Find the Good" reminds us all to live more gratefully by seeing life through the lens of optimism. 00:25 Intro to author Heather Lende from Haines, Alaska 01:25 Obituary writers describe a life in 500-600 words 01:30 Lende’s mantra: “Find the good.” 02:00 Writing our own obituaries, every day 02:25 Unpacking the title, “Find the Good” 03:45 Countering sadness 04:15 Lende’s career begins in 1996 05:45 Characteristics and qualifications of a good obituary writer 07:45 Be a “story catcher” 08:45 Who approves obituaries? 11:00 Lende’s own brush with death changes everything 12:20 Recovery breeds empathy and gratitude 12:45 Wounds, seen and unseen 14:00 Deaths hit close to home 15:00 “I’m just the chronicler of these tragedies,” trying to give families hope 15:40 Using her art to make a difference and move hearts 16:30 Lende faces her own grief with unwed daughter’s pregnancy 17:00 “Draw lines in the sand so you can move them.” 17:45 Wisdom from an elderly Southern lady 19:00 Sometimes the “Big Worry” isn’t a worry at all 19:40 “Practice staggered breathing” 20:25 Life lessons from choir metaphors 22:00 “Writing obituaries is my way of transcending the bad news.” 22:25 The story of Richard Boyce, a fisherman lost at sea 24:45 The power of a father’s love 25:20 Story of Russ, the town cemetery gardener 26:00 A long-lost son returns, dies, and gives his home to hospice 27:00 The power of simple greeting cards and the family Bible 28:32 The story of Rene—writing a pre-death obituary for a breast-cancer victim 29:02 What would you do with your remaining days? 30:42 Quantity vs. quality of life 30:59 Everyday blessings 31:20 Life’s two greatest regrets 31:45 Longing for small-town living 32:10 The downsides of small-town living 34:05 Navigating “spiritual boot camp” 35:00 Nurturing the skill of “finding the good” 35:20 Hearts turn to stone, but stones also turn to hearts 36:15 The story of Vic—proof people can change 37:15 How to get a good obituary 37:45 Who will write Lende’s obituary? 38:30 The immediate value of an obituary 39:10 What Lende hopes her readers feel 39:40 How to create small towns anywhere QUOTES FROM LENDE "If indeed all the wisdom I had in my heart was to be summed up in final words and it was difficult to speak more than, say, three, what would I rasp before my soul flew up the chimney? Find the good. I surprised myself with this pretty great notion. Find the good. That’s enough. That’s plenty. I could leave my family with that." "Awful events are followed by dozens and dozens of good deeds. It’s not that misery loves company, exactly; rather, it’s that suffering, in all its forms, and our response to it, binds us together across dinner tables, neighborhoods, towns and cities, and even time. Bad doings bring out the best in people." "I have a friend who says we spend the first half of our life building it and the second half preventing it from falling apart. I’d rather be under construction when I die." “We are all writing our own obituary every day by how we live. The best news is that there’s still time for additions and revisions before it goes to press.” "The invisible part of a mother’s heart is the strongest and most flexible because it enlarges with each child and grandchild. Rather than divide the heart’s chambers into smaller rooms as the family grows, love multiplies them." "No matter how many obituaries I write, I will never get used to talking to someone one day and learning that they’ve left town, and the entire planet, the next. It may not shock me the way it does others, but that doesn’t make it any easier. There is no good in missing someone so badly you can’t even hum." BUY Find the Good: Unexpected Life Lessons from a Small-Town Obituary Writer Other Books by Heather Lende BUY If You Lived Here, I'd Know Your Name: News from Small-Town Alaska BUY Take Good Care of the Garden and the Dogs: A True Story of Bad Breaks and Small Miracles RECOMMENDATIONS Listen to Nonfiction4Life podcast episode 102, Farewell: Vital End-of-Life Questions with Candid Answers from a Leading Palliative and Hospice Physician by Dr. Edward T. Creagan with Sandra Wendel. Check out Nonfiction4Life podcast episode 172, The Parlay Effect: How Female Connection Can Change the World by Anne Devereux-Mills. Connect with us! Facebook Instagram Twitter YouTube Website Special thanks… Music Credit Sound Editing Credit