Miscellaneous
Nina Aouilk is an inspirational speaker and talks to Tracy about being resilient and the ability to overcome anything, whilst spreading kindness and making a difference. Nina's website is www.ninaaouilk.com Tracy can be contacted as follows: Website: www.tracykimberg.com Phone: 07928 154054 Facebook: www.facebook.com/Tracy.Kimberg.Counselling.Therapy.Coaching/ Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/tracy-kimberg-9564a3193/ Instagram: www.instagram.com/tracy_kimberg_hypnotherapist/ Hello. My name is Tracy Kimberg. I'm a teenage therapist and a relationship coach. My life has. Often had waves and tides and storms and difficult uphills and fast downhills. Like everybody else's life. No one's life is perfect, but we all have the ability to overcome these times. And some of us have the ability to turn it into something extraordinary. And this is exactly what my guest has done. Her name is Nina Aouilk . Nina is an author. About to release a book. She is a motivational speaker and she is a humanitarian. She is very, very inspiring. And I invite you to sit back and listen to what she has to say, listen to what she has to share and just take it in. And why you doing that? Understand that you have it in you as well to overcome anything life throws at you. If you find the support you need, if you find what you have inside you. Dig deep, get in there inside yourself, and you will find the strength to overcome anything. In this episode, we are going to touch on some sensitive subjects, sensitive subjects that might, you might find upsetting. If anything that we discussed in this episode resonates with you, or is your situation that I do invite you to get in touch, speak up, don't hide the truth from yourself and from other people it's always better to be open and honest and find the help that you need, because you can turn your life around. And if you're a parent and you have a situation where your child. Is perhaps being bullied or not doing too well mentally, then please get in touch. I would love to have a discussion with you and help you and your child find a solution and turn the situation around to something that is more positive and a happier solution. So let me introduce Nina elk. Nina. Thank you for being my guest. Oh my goodness. This is such. An exciting day for me to have you as a guest, I've heard your story before, and I think this is a story that needs to be repeated and change their lives. Just like it's changed mine. Thank you so much for agreeing to be my guest today on the waves of clarity. So, um, tell us a little bit about your story and what's brought you to be such, um, passionate advocate for this whole story. Yeah, I think the word passionate is an understatement is it's overwhelming. I can't describe it to anybody I've tried, but it's very, very difficult when you. Go through something you just want to help somebody else go through, um, what you want to stop them going through if you can. But if they are going through, you want to help them in any way that you possibly can. I can only imagine that as a parent, you want to help with the parents that might have felt the way you were feeling. Um, so I'm sure that you know where I'm coming from, which place I'm coming from. And it does, it overwhelms you to a point where it's almost like somebody saying, Hey, Hey. Come on Nina, do something you can't sit back and be part of the problem you need to be. Part of the solution for me, bullying starts the day I was born and it was agenda discrimination because of my culture. Girls, uh, killed it, but just because that born girls, and I've said a few times that there often now, because of the way the medical facilities are in comparison to when I was born, they're aborted. So once they find out it's a girl, they were bought at that birth. So these children don't even make it into the world. The ones that do make into the weld or either. Left in place as an India, they leave them under trucks and the hope that they get run over. And I'm talking about newborn babies straight from the room, or they're left to the devices on the sites as a way to whoever finds them and they end up in sex trafficking. Well, they just end up being sold for parts, body parts, and it's horrendous how, um, and that the past, and could do that to such a small bundle of joy and. For me, it was very difficult. Um, part of my life, I mean, my life's been pretty difficult throughout, but I wouldn't change these things because it's given me such valuable life experiences and emotional intelligence that now I can go out and help somebody else that needs me. And I'm not doing it for me. I'm not doing it from an egotistical point of view. I'm not doing it from trying to be on social media point of view. I'm doing it because I'm very much needed. My voice is the voice for those people. Who have the half that not only their voice broken, but their spirit broken. And I was once that child sitting, sharing death on an everyday basis. And that's the new way to live. Um, I think a lot of us that are in this type of business where we try and help other people, we try and be what we never had when we had went through things. Um, and that's one of the reasons why I do what I'm doing. You know, I'm wanting to help people, you know, just understand their kids better and obviously have better relationships. And you mentioned emotional intelligence, which. You know, I think a lot of parents don't have, they are very involved in their own issues that they haven't resolved. And this spills over in the way they parents that they've got the patterns that they have never actually realized they have. Yeah, it's programming. But the thing is you can go and study emotional intelligence. You can take a lot of time taking a course with. A mentor that's well known. You know, you can take a course on there's lot of people doing life coaching, but if you don't have the personality, if you don't have the life experience yourself, I'm really sorry I'm saying this, but I just don't think you're the right person for the job, because if you haven't lived through those experiences, you. I have no idea what somebody else feels. And I'm not saying I know how someone else feels, because that would be hypocritical because I don't know how you feel because we all have different perceptions. But I have a fair idea of how someone may feel, whereas a textbook or a course is never going to teach you that, that. That whole having walked in someone's shoes, as they, as they call it. You're unable to know that from reading a textbook or going on a course, it's just impossible. So for that reason, I think people that are doing these jobs that have lived through it, or have experienced something similar or the best kinds of people, because they know that pain that hurt that, that trauma that another person might be going through. That's so true. That's so true. Um, what do you think? Um, all some of the major, um, difficulties that the teenagers nowadays, um, I mean, it's not even going to COVID as one of them, but that is the reality that they facing. What do you think are some of the issues that teenagers are facing their parents? Don grainy realize, well, you see, I did this. Um, with mental health, my son was crying out to me and I wasn't listening. I was, I just got a place to live in because we were homeless this for a little while. And all I could think about is I need to buy a bed. He need to buy a suit. I need to buy what can, how can I earn the money to get this? These things that I need not looking at what he needed. He was constantly crying out for help. And the signs are all there, but I wasn't listening to listen. I wasn't hearing anything. I was busy trying to do what I felt I had to do for him. Whereas all he wanted was for me to say, I could see something's not right with you. Let's sit and talk about it and not for me to talk. It was a voice I needed to listen to the same voice. I'm saying that people are not hearing. I did the same thing in a different situation, and I can't go backwards, but maybe I can help somebody else recognize the signs that there's a lot of pressure that goes on. And if you, if you have gone through trauma, if you've been in a relationship with someone who's narcissistic or you've been through domestic violence, you think you're the only one affected, but you're completely wrong. The children have watched and they learn and you see I've written a book and in there I've also described the children and start when you've had an argument about, Hey John, why didn't you empty the dishwasher? I'm really annoyed with it. All they see is hand movements and raised voices. They never see. How you make up afterwards. Now, if you know, if I was John and I say, well, come on or I'm sorry to all in, you know, makeup, I'll make sure I try and make a conscious effort. You hug, kiss, makeup, the children, see the making up as well. They don't see that. They just see the argument. And when you're a young child, you can't differentiate between a huge argument or a small argument. Young children say, or we diet is a typical statement because they have no concept of time. And with that, they'd have no concept of. Emotion to a point where they can understand that it's just a small disagreement. It's not a huge disagreement. They can't differentiate. And that creates panic in them, which then creates anxiety because they don't know what's happening. So I do, I would say to parents just on a different tangent, what you're talking about, but please be mindful how you say things to a child. The words you use is so important in my book again, I've mentioned that often parents will say to a child. You need to do your homework and the children will say why, and they're not asking from an argumentative. Sometimes they are, but not at the time. They're not, it's just a child's question. Especially under the age of seven. They're not paying hockey mentors. If they're being curious and wanted to know why. And a lot of the parents will say, because I told you too, I mean, that, that equates to nothing. Hey, Tracy, let's do this. Cause I told you too, you wouldn't like it at this age. So why would a child, if you explain to them, If you can do this now, and then you can go out and play, or if you do this, now we can sit and watch a movie together. You know, if you give them an understanding that they need to do it, but also give them a reward. There's just such a big difference that you'll see in the raising of their children. Exactly, exactly. Um, how do you think, um, A parent for parents that have dealt with bullying at school with children, you know, bullying is a serious problem. I find, and there's not enough done about bullying in schools. I think, um, the teachers themselves are often their hands are cut off. They, they don't have that. Um, I wouldn't say the power, but they can't do anything really. Um, and it's almost like the child that is being bullied and the child that's bullied is there's no consequence. Um, what do you, how do you think parents should handle bullying? Yeah. So safeguarding is a huge thing for me. One of the things I say when I go into any social media portal is if you see something and you don't do anything, then you are part of the problem, not the solution that you're, you're as bad as, um, the same person that's maybe punching into the person you are, that extended hand. And that's quite a strong statement, but it's completely how I feel. The reason I say that is my mother watched my father and brother beat me. Maybe she couldn't have done anything because they were huge people, you know, they're massive guys, but she could have made a discreet phone call or she could have maybe got somebody else, a third party to help me the day after I needed medical assistance. I didn't get it. Now, if you're a parent and your child is being bullied at school, your first point of call is the school. Um, attempted as you maybe speak to the parent. A lot of the time the child has learned that behavior from a parent because let's let's face it well, so they go into. Learn from the thing about bullying is that it's very detrimental to a child's mental and physical state of mind and health that really does affect them. It can trigger such stress that it can trigger auto immune diseases and all sorts of. As they say, stress is a killer. If your child I'm Simon says, so-and-so's not playing with me or so-and-so is not doing this, please don't ignore it because we have a habit of thinking, Oh, it'll be fine. Because when they're not in your care, you feel that in the calf, somebody else, but your care never stops. Your care is 24 seven, three 65 days in a year. It never stops. So please don't think somebody else is going to deal with the problem. And I would say that the schools I've had this myself, because one of my sons, when he was younger, had a huge Afro and we were in a white, predominantly, um, area that we lived in, which was fine because he wasn't really bullied about his race. He was bullied about his hair and children would pick on the stupidest of things. They will pick on you. Whether you've got glasses, you're too pretty. You're too tall. You're too short. There's no winning. And it's part of enjoy as part of social, um, skills that they're learning. And I have been saying to schools. Practice more social skills that bring in this thing where you're teaching one another to be kind to one another, but you need to stop being kind to your child when your child's asking for help, help them. The things I would do if aren't my child who has been bullied and they have been as I first able to start with the child, they need love. They need attention. They need to be heard. They need for their feedings not to be rubbished, which a lot of parents do. Like I keep saying, we never know how another person feels. We can't put ourselves in that person's shoes because we are not that person Tracy might feel differently. With a glass of wine too, or, you know, I might feel, I don't like wine. You might say wonderful glass of wine. We're all very different. It's the same object, but it's very seen very differently between us. So Deborah, tell your child how they feel to never make assumptions. Try to ask questions. You know, how are you feeling? What can I do to help you ask them? If a child says they've got to move school? I don't believe in that unless it's a very severe state, because again, you're teaching them part of a life, um, tool that they need to face things, and they need to understand how to deal with them. But it's not very easy when your child is being bullied. Like you said they're doing nothing. So the next port of call would be the school. And I would be very strategic in how you're dealing with the school. I would start with a written. Um, format because you want a paper trail. Often you have to go to the board of directors, but schools that are state schools are so protected by this bubble. That there's not a lot you can do to them either. So it is a bit of a battle, but the louder you get, the more people will hear you. So go onto social media, go onto forums and say, I've had a problem at school. Go to the County council. I don't know what it's like in your area, but where I live. There would be a counter council. So the government have an area, an educational department for this area. I would write to them so that the school starts to take you seriously, because well, they say the school can't do anything. They can, they can move the child into a different class and not your child. Why should your child have to be moved? They're not the problem. And often schools know there's a child, that's a problem, but it's easier for them not to deal with it because it means. That parents will come in to child. The problem child, parents will come in and cause aggravation for the school. And everybody wants to simple life, but not, no, that's not. Okay. Not, not at the cost of another child's welfare. Hmm. Um, what do you think? Um, that's so true. I mean, it's, it's so true. I wish I'd known and dealt with the bullying that I experienced with my children. Definitely. I. Um, in my situation, I went to the school and got no response and then ended up going to the police because my daughter was assaulted. Um, you know, you, and then the police got involved with the school and subsequently that got sorted out because of the pressure there. But, you know, I, I just want, if a parent is listening and they're dealing with a don't stop until something's done too. Um, thing that you have in your life. And, you know, like you said earlier, Nina affects the children's mental health for the rest of their life. If they don't get help. So that's important when your child has dealt with something like bullying or, um, any type of abuse is to get them the help that they deserve and need to be able to deal with it and not carry it with them for the rest of their lives. Yeah. When you mentioned, um, narcissistic, um, parents, you know, it seems like this is a very popular word at the moment. You hear a lot about narcissism and it's a reality, you know, um, I've had my own experience with it myself. Um, but. How does this affect the children? What do people need to really get about this being, um, when a child is exposed to a narcissistic parent, how does it affect them? Well, hugely, you know, my son has an autoimmune disease now because of the stress and I can't reverse that. So from my heart, I would say to the look at what's going on around you, the problem you have is when you're in a relationship with a narcissistic person, you're so engrossed and you believe everything, they tell you that you aren't able to see clarity in a, my, my. Former partner. He even set my pillow on fire as I was sleeping and I still thought it was okay to lift there. Now I look at myself and I see how ridiculous that you thought it was acceptable that you sought your pen on fire. There was any time you could have said the children's depend on. So I do question sometimes my own sanity, but when you are told something is blue and it's white. If I say this wall is black and I keep saying it over and over again, you will believe it. At some point, you'll say. I thought it was white, but maybe I could see a better black in there. You know, you start to question your mind and they're very manipulated. A lot of narcissistic people have had traumas which have been resolved and they pass that trauma on to the next person is the lack of control, the lack of being accepted at school themselves, or the lack of being of importance. So they use that to put that pressure. It's almost like they're described as a bouncing Betty. I don't know if you know that is, but in ball they are bouncing back to the pitcher. Literally like a bouncing grenade. And when they're grenade bounces, it breaks into shrapnels millions of pieces that literally cut into the people around them. And that is what narcissistic people are. Like, they will bounce, bounce, bounce, and then they explode. And then you get these shrapnels that are embedded in you and you can't get them out, but they are affecting you because they're almost destroying you from the inside out. If you recognize that bad behavior is around you, whoever you are, then you must. Respect yourself and understand that you are an important person, that you need to do something about it. It takes you to be brave, but the only way there'll be a change is if you make a choice to make the change. And I keep saying this as well, that everybody has their day, one day, your day will come, but it won't come unless you take that small first step and everybody deserves. Freedom from narcissistic parents. If you were raised with a narcissistic parent, understand how it affected you first before. If you say I will sound just like my mother question, whether you want to sound like your mother or father question. If what you're saying is essential, and I would say to parents, try to understand your children more. There are many versions of you. You brought them into this world, give them the time and understand, well, why is. At my daughter's school slash the, the last saying this, where is she coming from? If you don't know, don't assume. And, and this is with older children, my daughter's 27. I've got older children, but don't assume ask them. And like I said, if they say something max to them, then listen, because it matters to them. And. What difference does it make, if you can make a change for them? I'm not saying you don't have boundaries because boundaries are important for children even at an older age, but don't make the boundaries so high that they don't want to come on the other side of the fence and spend time with you because that's what will happen. You will alienate them. And that's not something that you want to do. Yes. I think it's very, very important. What you just said there about the listening, you know, um, I think a lot of. Parents, um, that they can actually listen and learn from their own children. You know, children are so intelligent and they know a lot more about a lot of things than we do. Just willing to sit and listen in a normal discussion. You can learn so much from your own children. The monitor. You want that relationship? Why wouldn't you want that? People say we too frenzy. I'm not really friendly because I can also turn on mummy face, but I don't. I want to live in relationship with supportive relationship is he, I've never had it. So I want to give it. I never had that relationship with my parents. So I want to give it some people go the opposite way and they do exactly what they've learned, which is called lab behaviors. I'm sure you know, and that programming, but why not break the cycle? Why not become somebody that actually. Creates a whole new revelation within your family lifeline and the generations that follow will become more understanding kind of people. And this is something else I said in the end of the day in the rooms, was it a walk? Could you have, if you could have anything. And I said, I'd love to start a snowball effect where my act of kindness today. In generations to come. Maybe even if I'm not in this world will affect a larger audience. Maybe me being kind to somebody will allow them to be kind to another person because they felt good. They were only in a did this one we shouldn't have to, and I felt good and they'll make somebody else feel good. And that person to make somebody else go go 10, 20, 30 years down the line. That's still going. That snowball effect is still going. And I would love that. I would love for people just to stop being kind to one another. Why do you think it is Nina? That so many of us as parents act out of ego. When it comes to our kids, I think we feel sometimes that we're not respected. And often if you go on online or you speak to a friend or family member, they say, well, that's stupid. Ridiculous. You know, if he said that to you, that's I wouldn't put up with anything. Maybe I'm not doing the right thing. And you question yourself, never question yourself, because nobody else is the child's parent. Other than you, if you're in a loving relationship, And you have a husband or a partner or a boyfriend who had read isn't this, the father of your child, even if it's not the father of your shot. Now families, the family, um, has changed so much that we have a totally different kind of family unit. What we would have had, and children are accepting. And so we have to be too. Um, and whoever you're with, if they say to you, I agree because they're with you 24 seven, and they're with the child, they know the child, but to go out to another source who doesn't know the child and compare is where the ego starts to step in because Sarah, the road, her two daughters are happy and they're studying at university and they've got. Boyfriend is, but you don't know what is actually happening behind closed doors. My life looks perfect from the outside, but I have my own problems. I have my own issues. I'm trying to get resolved behind closed doors, not personally, but I have things that I'm trying to resolve. Everybody does. That's called life. I made a comparison and as I keep saying, we brought these children into the world. So it's all right, is our. Do you T to give them the integrity to teach them the values, teach them how to be happy, because if you're not taught how to be happy, then from a young age, you don't really know how to find it. When you get older, no matter how much you try to be happy, you struggle because it's not something that you're used to. For me, it was love. I was never loved. And anytime anybody did try to give me a tiny ounce of love. I didn't know what to do that, but the love I found was through my children that unconditional love. And then two years ago, I found myself love. And, and this is another thing for parents I'd like to, but if you don't mind me saying now society, um, precious young men and women, young girls and boys to look a certain way. Because they want us to look all the same because that's described as beautiful to have that shiny hair. I tuck the bright white teeth, but in reality, we're individual and unique for a reason. We all are born differently. We're not born in a, an a M. Stop. We're not born in dozens. You know, we're born. I mean, you might get twins, but even then, or in DentiCal a lot of the time. So my point being is hard enough for the children, having this pressure, thinking they need to look a certain way. Don't add it. Cause I know a lot of parents that say, Oh, you need to do your hair like this. Oh, you shouldn't be don't dress like this or dress, stop trying to make them fit into a box that you think is the right box. Allow them to be free and express themselves as part of them. Learning who they are as a pastor, then nothing themselves. Yes. Especially, uh, you know, I deal with a lot of teenagers, um, and it's such an important time of their life, where they do want to be independent. They do want to discover what their values are. And I think. As parents, we need to really hold ourselves in check and say, look, even if I know what my values are, that my values are not going to be my child's values. Um, they might be similar, but they're not going to be exactly the same as you allow your child to experience life and the values so that they can be, um, stable adults, so to speak because. I was talking in one of my other interviews the other day about Aziz midlife crisis is that we all have, um, we all hear about it. It's I think it's a lot to do with the way we were parented as yes. And if we can make our children really discover themselves, you know, and. Properly as teenagers as young children, they won't be any of this. As I was saying, you can break, break that generational curse of programming, but it takes one person to think to step back and actually say to themselves, look, maybe I'm too harsh. Maybe I didn't need to do that. Ashby. I'm going to change and it starts to change, starts with you as the saying goes. So unless you're prepared to change does, and there's no perfect parent. There's no perfect child. There's no perfect person we're in perfectly perfect to, they always say so. Instead of trying to live your life through your children, which a lot of parents do, they tell them what to study. They tell them what to wear. Allow them to be them and enjoy them. You know, your children are there to enjoy and, and watch them. And you know, a lot of parents where they're vulnerable go to the mottos, how does salt link tree out? Can you do it for me? You know, she's never turned around and said, do it yourself. Once we do that for children sometimes quite harshly, they're quite happy to give you a handle. To guide you in the right direction. So it's a give and take and you'll gain that respect when they're older. If you give them respect, as they're growing up, if you're constantly talking at them, not with them, then they will do the same to you. When you're older, they will talk at you and to you, not with the that's so beautiful. Thank you. Thank you. I mean, and that's amazing. Um, I'd like you to tell me a bit about your book, please. I'd love to hear more. Okay. I've got the draft. So it's got this line across it. So I'm reading through it, but it's called master your life. I'm super proud. Let's cover a section. It's got a section on money, health family, which is a big one. As we're talking about that, I've got self-love in there. Um, and I've got coping with COVID, which is it extra section. There's a few of this stuff thrown in, but it's the book you see? When I was writing a book, um, as working with my publisher and they were trying to install, I could try to button. I want you to write about my life. I didn't want to try to budget it straight away and there's send me things I can talk about because I've. Run a few businesses myself. And I've also worked in a large corporation only for a short time, but I've worked in large corporations. I understand other things changed that much in the work industry. And so I wrote about the money section, because again, it starts with you and your mindset. And what you can actually with practical things, people say to me, what can I do about this? So there's questions I'll put in the book. Um, family, again, my own experiences with family and my own experiences and my children. And also I am a life coach. I, didn't not that one in, and the questions I get asked commonly, or how can I have a better relationship with my children is a big one. I feel I've failed my children. I feel listened to me, you know, all those sorts of things, but also. I my mom's, it can, I don't want to speak to her. So I get it from the other side too. Maybe when they're a little bit older. So those things are all in there. And I do say sometimes if someone is toxic, you have to love them for fights. I mean, you don't love them. Um, I've gotten there about divorcing your children because often when your children get to university stage or college is the American school. And mothers often feel redundant because every day they've had to think about what. Celeste is going to be at what reason, what children's names, where Roger needs to get to, because he's got a club after school and your life doesn't meet it. You know, you have to almost find your own own music. You have to find out what your favorite food is. Cause you've always accommodated the family. You have to find out what your favorite pastime is. And instead of. Being scared of this or being pushing it away, treat it as an exciting time. Um, and I say, default, the children, it sounds harsh, but I think something harsh needs to be done in that time for you to keep your sanity and discover your new part of your life, and also to allow them to grow when they go away and not keep trying to find out what they're doing, where they are, as long as you know, they're safe and they're well, and you're checking in with them every couple of days, that's all you need. Even a text a day is fine. But not to overwhelm that you're stopping them to grow. So I've got that on there. I've got about self-love because as I said, two years ago, I found me the real me. I stopped listening to the voices that I'd had for. 50 years of people telling me what I was and what it wasn't. And I realized that who you are inside is far more important than what you look like on the outside. People put pressure on themselves to get to the gym. And this is something teenagers do. They're very body conscious and they're very aware of their self image. But if you've taught your child to love themselves from within. They will never have that lack of confidence because beauty breeds competence. And that was a quote I made recently because when you believe inside that you're a good person and you, and you know, you know, you've got your core values. And if someone says, what are your values? And you can answer them straight away, then that shines from the inside and people see that light people want to be near you. People want to know they don't want to be with someone. Who's not sure of themselves. And you'll start doing one in your business. You'll start doing, they'll start doing well at school. Everything will start falling into place. And that's how it's been for me. So my book covers a lot of different aspects of life, but it's really. As it's called master your life, lift the life of your dreams because you can with the right tool. Sometimes we just need to be directed often. And you know, this yourself, Tracy, we know the answers ourselves. It's just being reminded in that trigger, that trigger within your mind to say, Hmm, I like what I'm reading. And let me just try it. Yes. Just be willing to try and just step out of your comfort zone because it might. Just, I like saying widen your comfort zone. Don't step out of it. Just widen it because once you've tried it, once it becomes comfortable before you're stepping onto the next level, we're an amazing race. Look how we've coped with COVID where I am in the United Kingdom. Wherever you may be as well. Not too far away. We've we've been locked out for nearly a year. In some areas they haven't come up, locked down. So you cope, you develop new skills you develop like with using zoom things that people wouldn't use on a day-to-day basis before they use it. So don't underestimate your own power to change because you've done it already. Exactly exactly. And we, and we need to change. We need to evolve. We need to improve ourselves and, you know, be adaptable and all that his motto was always, it is be the best you can be with the gifts that you have, because we're so full of gifts. Nice to say this to the children every night, the things you tell your children is literally what they will become. So, um, try to always embed positive. What even now at this age, my children older, I still say I'll drop the positive word, having that deliberately because worse, also powerful. They are literally spells. So, you know, it's just something I wish parents would think and consider doing. Be aware of, be a conscious parent. And that's what we need to be. Definitely. Thank you so, so much, Nina. I'm good. I'm going to ask you to please send me the link for your book. When is it going to be available? Yup. As soon as I'm finished reading it, there's a few different read it so many times. Um, but there's just a few printing. I was. If anybody's out there wanting to write a book, it's not as easy as it looks. And the writing calls is quite quickly done. It's the actual manufacturing, I'll call it the publishing and printing side. So this month it will be on Amazon. And I would love for you to pick a copy up. Thank you so much, Nina. Thanks so much. And if you found this episode really moving, then please share it with someone that you care about. Because I think this message needs to be shared to so many people. And I'd like to leave you with another quote because as you know, yes, I love my quotes. And here it is today, it says it is a reminder for anyone who needs it, including myself, there isn't anything wrong about falling apart. Just take it as a beautiful chance for you to rebuild yourself all over again. And to. Create a new version of you who doesn't know what it means to give up on the person you're becoming. And this is one of Semia to Tandis quits, have a lovely week, everyone