Warm mug of phantom Poetry Episode 11: falling out of love

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Warm Mug of Phantom Poetry

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I wish savored your lips I wish I gave you one more kiss I should have memorized your skin against mine I should have asked you for more time I wonder if in a few months you'll forget me And I'll be a distant memory I want know if you really meant that you wanted us to be just friends or if in a few years it all come crashing to an end We'll go our separate ways Lie to eachother about how everything's okay Do you think we'll miss the other Or will we force ourselves to move on with another Cause I don't want to try this anymore, This searching only to end up at closed doors your voice is in my head As I imagine lying in your bed Us saying those 3 Words But now I want to leave them gone and unheard I can't erase your face I miss the way that you taste This just doesn't feel fair Why am I stubborn? why do i care? If I pretend it isn't real Maybe it will fix itself and we'll quietly heal But it's happened its in the past Like summer it's not going to last Fall will arrive with it's dying leaves We'll grow again find new pieces I'm just waiting for the funeral When the body won't feel so dull When I look into the coffin and see our love And how in an instant it finally came undone What we dont say We don’t say I love you We don’t say I miss you We don’t say I’m thinking of you Sometimes we don’t even say good night That’s not even polite I send you well wishes You’ve left my emotions needing stitches We act like just friends If only i had this end If i could rewind If we had just taken our time If we could just say it again I love you my friend You’ll always be more to me You helped set my heart free Picked me up when I would fall Listened to my boundaries and walls I swear you gave it your all But you said you didn’t get the butterflies So now I’m stuck here about to cry My heart still flutters Some nights i still mutter They come out in a stutter Those 3 words Its probably absurd Cause you don’t feel the same way I wish I was okay I wish you could stay I wish i didn’t have to go away You say you’re still here But i don’t see you any where Kisses don’t feel the same The numbness is to blame Why are we dragging this through the earth Letting it collect mud and dirt I don’t hate you I never will Yet still I wish it was different Cause we don’t say the things we used to We dont say the things that matter As we grow apart we both grow sadder I wanna run and get out Figure out how to forget about The nights in bed The things you said The hugs that were so long How you hold me and it still doesn’t feel wrong I look into your eyes I could live in the feeling of being mesmerised Take my hand One last dance again But we don’t We wont We don’t say the things we used to And i still love you lead on the longer i stay the more youll get hurt yes i love you love the way your lips feel  love the way you smell  love the way you laugh love the way your voice feels against my ear when we lie next one another love the way your hand fits in mine love the way you smile staring into those blues grey sometimes green eyes, i couldnt see my life without you but when you are lying next to me  sometimes i dont want to have sex sometimes i just want to hold you close and cry but the longer i hold your hand the longer i kiss you  the longer i keep you laughing the longer i stare into your eyes the more i wish i could tell you the truth that this hurts that sex hurts by saying nothing i am finding myself each day hating who I am  you dont deserve someone awful like me who will never crave you the wave you crave me i dont even see myself as a girl, you think i am a girl, but i dont feel like a girl  i am not always attracted to men atleast not sexually or maybe im not attracted to you but i like you i just dont want to have sex with you’ but i need you to let me go To the one I cant let go of I’m sick of telling this lie Faking okay as you leave and walk on by I don’t wanna cry I sit in bed unable to try The --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app