Education
My relationship with God has been hard and confusing at times. I trust Him conceptually, but I have a hard time identifying with Him past that. On the other hand, I feel like I know, love and trust Jesus much more. I want you to know that you aren’t alone if you have felt similarly. I’m not quite sure why I have had such a hard time with understanding God as a person or a parent. I think that a lot of it stems from how I was raised. I was raised to be incredibly independent and to not rely on others for anything. So it’s hard for me to know how to even rely on God as a parent. I’m fiercely independent. I talk about how I have found to trust Jesus and how he fulfills the promise He gave to Jacob in Genesis 28:15 “I will not leave thee, until I have done that which I have spoken to thee of.” I believe that Jesus is just like that. He stays in the mess of our lives with us until He fulfills His promises He has made. Jacob then says in Genesis 28:16 “Surely the Lord is in this place & I knew it not.” There are so many times in my life that I fee like I am alone and then realize looking back, that the Savior was there with me the whole time - in the place I was in of loneliness, hopelessness, despair, shame, etc. He is always there - I just have to look to see Him.