Mary calls umami the "sixth sense" and Billy gets irrationally angry; guest Rachel provides a lot of tedious information about the Harry Potter series.

JK ROFLing

Nymphadora Tonks is a Sex Ed Hologram

Mary discusses the dangers of imagination in the Wizarding World; Billy doubts that owls are faster than the internet; guest Abby leads (and misleads) a long attempt to discover Voldemort's middle name.

"Hey, You Kids Want Some Pork Chops?"

Billy tells Mary he wants to see her throw up; Mary is horrified by Billy's hideous description of "thestrals;" guest Madison describes intentionally peeing her pants during the Deathly Hallows Part 2.

"Dumbledore is Constantly Emitting His Final Fart"

Billy flexes his knowledge of such hip terms as "tea" and "stan;" Mary discusses vaping in the Wizarding World; guest Marae extols the coolness of the character Sirius Black.

"Do Wizards Lay Eggs?"

Mary and Billy discuss churches' relationship with the Harry Potter series; guest Jo declares her hatred for Ron Weasley.

"Anuses Are Sacred"

Mary spoils the Phil of the Future finale; Billy does his impression of a barfing cat; guest Amanda is continuously baffled.

"When the Sorting Hat Gets Drunk, Things Get Weird"

Billy and Mary say the C-word; guest Kristina asks about the creatures of the Wizarding World.

Mary Laughs So Hard She Farts At Around 49:00

Billy and Mary ask: "Do the candy know?" Guest Hannah discusses a Harry Potter class she has taken.

"And Now We Add the Soul"

Billy refuses to accept a friendship between a professor and a hat; Mary reveals details of the origin story of her menstruation; guest Meredith proclaims her attraction to Young Ol' What's His Name

"The Big Daddy Longlegs of Hogwarts: Dumbledore"

Mary and Billy establish the boundaries of their Harry Potter knowledge; guest Hannah introduces some unheard-of character names.

Pilot - "There's Something To Know About Snape"

Two people who know very little about Harry Potter talk about Harry Potter at length, with a rotating guest expert cringing along.