Our opening "Sexcess" story features a woman who discovered she's natural born pegger. After some initial reticence, now her man begs for it.  A gay man has a fraught relationship with his parents. He visits them, but they don't visit him. He learned recently that he has Aspergers Syndrome, and also that his family thinks he's an asshole. So, with his newly understood diagnosis, does he owe them an apology? Or are his parents the assholes here?  On the Magnum, Dan interviews one of our favorite guests, Dr. Justin Lehmiller about how sexual behaviors have changed during the pandemic. Covid's silver lining? Americans are trying butt stuff! And, after a blindfolded anonymous scene from an app hook-up, the caller realized that he recognized his lover as an acquaintance. Now what? Should he tell him? 206-302-2064  voicemail@savagelovecast.com This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. They make it easy to build a website or blog. Give it a whirl at Squarespace.com/Savage and if you want to buy it, use the code Savage for a 10% off your first purchase. This episode is brought to you by Pill Club: the birth control subscription that is delivered right to your door. Get a special care package with your first delivery. Go to www.thepillclub.com/Savage. This episode is brought to you by Allform- premium, customizable sofas and chairs shipped right to your door. For 20% off your perfect sofa, go to Allform.com/Savage.

Savage Lovecast

Savage Lovecast Episode 782

Ok, exactly how many people need to be involved for it to be called an orgy?  A woman has been mulling over something that happened 20 years ago between her and her brother-in-law. When she was 19, and her sister was away, her sister's husband put on some porn, and asked her a bunch of wildly inappropriate sex questions. Then he asked her to keep their conversation secret. Unsurprisingly, they are now divorced. The caller never told her sister about this. Should she tell her now?  On the Magnum version of the show, Dan gets a Second Opinion from Alexander Cheves, a sex columnist for Out Magazine. They discuss hooking up with Trump voters, how desire for kink emerges early in life, and whether it Is "urbanist" to advise rural gay folks to move to cities. And, a man has been with his wife for 20 years. She is done with sex, and he very much wants it. He likes to smoke pot in moderation. She insists that so long as he smokes pot, she will never have sex with him. Should he fully quit in hopes that she comes through on her end of the bargain? 206-302-2064 voicemail@savagelovecast.com This episode of the Savage Lovecast is sponsored by OMGyes.com: a website dedicated to getting scientific truths out about women's sexual pleasure. Savage Lovecast listeners can get a discount if they go to OMGYES.com/Savage. Today’s Lovecast is brought to you by MeUndies.com: High quality, super-comfortable, good looking undies. Get 15% off your first order when you go to MeUndies.com/Savage. This podcast is brought to you by Stamps.com. Click on the microphone and enter "Savage" for postage, a digital scale, and a 4 week trial.

Savage Lovecast Episode 781

"Wait. Where did that flared base, glass butt plug go? Oh, that's right! It's still up my butt!" The caller tried to do everything right. But she might need surgery to get it out. A woman's boyfriend cheated on her with a sex worker... who also happens to be her own damn hairdresser! Dan and the caller have a conversation, and you get to listen in.  On the Magnum version of the show, Dan FINALLY interviews the wise and prolific Drs John and Julie Gottman. These two have conducted more than 40 years of research on what makes relationships work or fail, and their insights are spot on. If you've never heard of them, we humbly invite you to the Gottman-o-sphere. And, choices, choices. A gay man is peacefully dating his boyfriend but they don't have sex. But there's a foxy younger guy who the caller has sex with. Should he stick with the meaningful but sexless relationship, or the scorching hot sex dude?  206-302-2064 voicemail@savagelovecast.com Check out The Abstinence Project. This episode is brought to you by Helix Sleep-the best mattress for your individualized comfort. Right now, get up to $200 off ALL mattress orders at HelixSleep.com/SAVAGE. Support for the Savage Lovecast is brought to you by MANSCAPED™ , the best in men’s below-the-waist grooming. MANSCAPED™ offers precision-engineered tools for your family jewels. MANSCAPED™ just launched their fourth generation trimmer, The Lawn Mower® 4.0. Get 20% off and free worldwide shipping with the code: Lovecast at manscaped.com. Were You Raised By Wolves is a weekly show about etiquette and manners. Each week, Nick Leighton and Leah Bonnema answer wild listener questions and offer practical advice for even the stickiest situations. Send in your own questions to wereyouraisedbywolves.com and listen now on Apple Podcasts: apple.co/wolves

Savage Lovecast Episode 780

Wedding drama ahoy! A man's dad had a fight with his sister. Years later, the sister got married, and at her wedding, her dad orchestrated a big walk-out of many of the family, leaving the bride in tears. (That's some stone cold revenge right there.) Should the caller break off contact with his dad over this?  A 44 year-old married woman with 2 kids wants to be open-minded about her husband's request to bang a 25 year old gal. But when he tells her that this new woman is "magical" and that he's "never felt this way before," it's hard to feel groovy about the whole situation.  On the Magnum, Dan chats with Adam Zmith, author of "Deep Sniff: A History of Poppers and Queer Futures." They talk about the fascinating origins of poppers use and how they have been helping gay men have a whole lot of fun ever since. And, after 5 years together, and many conversations about whether kids are in their future, the man announces that he does NOT in fact want kids. 2 WEEKS BEFORE THEIR WEDDING. The bride-to-be is NOT happy... 206-302-2064 voicemail@savagelovecast.com This episode of the Savage Lovecast is sponsored by OMGyes.com: a website dedicated to getting scientific truths out about women’s sexual pleasure. Savage Lovecast listeners can get a discount if they go to OMGYES.com/Savage. This episode is brought to you by Pill Club: the birth control subscription that is delivered right to your door. Get a special care package with your first delivery. Go to www.thepillclub.com/Savage. Today’s Lovecast is brought to you by MeUndies.com: High quality, super-comfortable, good looking undies. Get 15% off your first order when you go to MeUndies.com/Savage.

Savage Lovecast Episode 779

Wedding drama ahoy! A man's dad had a fight with his sister. Years later, the sister got married, and at her wedding, her dad orchestrated a big walk-out of many of the family, leaving the bride in tears. (That's some stone cold revenge right there.) Should the caller break off contact with his dad over this? A 44 year-old married woman with 2 kids wants to be open-minded about her husband's request to bang a 25 year old gal. But when he tells her that this new woman is "magical" and that he's "never felt this way before," it's hard to feel groovy about the whole situation. On the Magnum, Dan chats with Adam Zmith, author of "Deep Sniff: A History of Poppers and Queer Futures." They talk about the fascinating origins of poppers use and how they have been helping gay men have a whole lot of fun ever since. And, after 5 years together, and many conversations about whether kids are in their future, the man announces that he does NOT in fact want kids. 2 WEEKS BEFORE THEIR WEDDING. The bride-to-be is NOT happy... This episode is brought to you by Pill Club: the birth control subscription that is delivered right to your door. Get a special care package with your first delivery. Go to . Today’s Lovecast is brought to you by MeUndies.com: High quality, super-comfortable, good looking undies. Get 15% off your first order when you go to . This episode of the Savage Lovecast is sponsored by OMGyes.com: a website dedicated to getting scientific truths out about women's sexual pleasure. Savage Lovecast listeners can get a discount if they go to .

Savage Love Episode 779

It's the sight that strikes fear in everyone's hearts: WHITE DREADS. One of his lovers has them, and just doesn't wanna cut them off. His other partners are offended. Should he keep seeing this woman? Is she oblivious to the connotations, or a bit of a troll?  A gay man's boyfriend is a very kinky lad. He loves to be denigrated and roughly used. But the tender-hearted caller loves him so much that he feels uncomfortable treating him that way.  On both the Micro and the Magnum, Dan chats with Leigh Cowart about their book Hurts So Good: The Science and Culture of Pain on Purpose. They talk about how the pleasure derived from pain is as old as the hills, isn't always sexual and is often unfairly misunderstood. If you just don't understand what all this S&M business is about, this is the show for you.  And, a couple are "butting" heads over toilet paper. When he gets a prostate massage, he wants the softest toilet paper, like the kind he has at his house. She stocks her home with eco-friendly bamboo-based toilet paper that he finds too rough. Listen in as fearless Dan Savage wades in to this seemingly intractable problem.  206-302-2064  voicemail@savagelovecast.com This episode is brought to you by Talkspace- online therapy that makes it easy to get extra mental health support. For $100 off your first month, go to Talkspace.com and use the offer code Savage. This episode of the Savage Lovecast is sponsored by OMGyes.com: a website dedicated to getting scientific truths out about women's sexual pleasure. Savage Lovecast listeners can get a discount if they go to OMGYES.com/Savage. This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. They make it easy to build a website or blog. Give it a whirl at Squarespace.com/Savage and if you want to buy it, use the code Savage for a 10% off your first purchase.

Savage Lovecast Episode 778

It's the sight that strikes fear in everyone's hearts: WHITE DREADS. One of his lovers has them, and just doesn't wanna cut them off. His other partners are offended. Should he keep seeing this woman? Is she oblivious to the connotations, or a bit of a troll? A gay man's boyfriend is a very kinky lad. He loves to be denigrated and roughly used. But the tender-hearted caller loves him so much that he feels uncomfortable treating him that way. On both the Micro and the Magnum, Dan chats with Leigh Cowart about their book Hurts So Good: The Science and Culture of Pain on Purpose. They talk about how the pleasure derived from pain is as old as the hills, isn't always sexual and is often unfairly misunderstood. If you just don't understand what all this S&M business is about, this is the show for you. And, a couple are "butting" heads over toilet paper. When he gets a prostate massage, he wants the softest toilet paper, like the kind he has at his house. She stocks her home with eco-friendly bamboo-based toilet paper that he finds too rough. Listen in as fearless Dan Savage wades in to this seemingly intractable problem. 206-302-2064    voicemail@savagelovecast.com This episode is brought to you by Talkspace- online therapy that makes it easy to get extra mental health support. For $100 off your first month, go to and use the offer code Savage. This episode of the Savage Lovecast is sponsored by OMGyes.com: a website dedicated to getting scientific truths out about women's sexual pleasure. Savage Lovecast listeners can get a discount if they go to . This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. They make it easy to build a website or blog. Give it a whirl at and if you want to buy it, use the code Savage for a 10% off your first purchase.

Savage Love Episode 778

A woman had sex with her super-hot neighbor. Then she found out that not only is he unvaccinated, but uses a fake vax card. Should she continue to share her body with this monster?  A young gay man wants to be able to both top and bottom. But when he's topping his gets so in his head that he loses his erection. Dan Savage! Help this man keep a rock hard boner! On the Magnum, a caller who escaped her family's cult when she was a teen has been invited to her sister's wedding. But their abusive cult leader father will be there. Should she skip the whole thing? Dan brings on Amanda Montell author of "Cultish" to talk about cults and how they control their followers.  And, a man wonders if there are any resources or support for people who want to try the exotic practice of monogamy.  206-302-2064 voicemail@savagelovecast.com Foria is an all natural health & sexual wellness company with product lines using the power of plant actives & CBD to effectively enhance intimacy, sexual pleasure, daily wellbeing, and relief from discomfort. Get 20% off your first order by visiting ForiaWellness.com/Savage This episode is brought to you by Calm, the #1 app for sleep and relaxation. For a limited time get 40% off a Calm Premium subscription at CALM.COM/Savage. This podcast is brought to you by Stamps.com. Click on the microphone and enter "Savage" for postage, a digital scale, and a 4 week trial.

Savage Lovecast Episode 777

A woman had sex with her super-hot neighbor. Then she found out that not only is he unvaccinated, but uses a fake vax card. Should she continue to share her body with this monster? A young gay man wants to be able to both top and bottom. But when he's topping his gets so in his head that he loses his erection. Dan Savage! Help this man keep a rock hard boner! On the Magnum, a caller who escaped her family's cult when she was a teen has been invited to her sister's wedding. But their abusive cult leader father will be there. Should she skip the whole thing? Dan brings on Amanda Montell author of "Cultish" to talk about cults and how they control their followers. And, a man wonders if there are any resources or support for people who want to try the exotic practice of monogamy. 206-302-2064   voicemail@savagelovecast.com Foria is an all natural health & sexual wellness company with product lines using the power of plant actives & CBD to effectively enhance intimacy, sexual pleasure, daily wellbeing, and relief from discomfort. Get 20% off your first order by visiting This episode is brought to you by Calm, the #1 app for sleep and relaxation. For a limited time get 40% off a Calm Premium subscription at . This podcast is brought to you by . Click on the microphone and enter "Savage" for postage, a digital scale, and a 4 week trial.

Savage Love Episode 777

Have you ever lost a dildo up your butt? This man has, but somehow the tale ends up as our opening "sexcess" story.  A 51 year-old woman is seeing a 33 year-old man. It's fantastic, but how long can it last?  On the Magnum, Dan brings back Lina Dune, from "Ask a Sub" to talk about some subby listener questions and her new podcast.  Finally, a couple won't watch porn for ethical reasons. And he doesn't want to be poly or open. She wonders...how can they have any fun?! 206-302-2064 voicemail@savagelovecast.com This episode is brought to you by Helix Sleep-the best mattress for your individualized comfort. Right now, get up to $200 off ALL mattress orders at HelixSleep.com/SAVAGE. This episode is brought to you by Pill Club: the birth control subscription that is delivered right to your door. Get a special care package with your first delivery. Go to www.thepillclub.com/Savage. This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. They make it easy to build a website or blog. Give it a whirl at Squarespace.com/Savage and if you want to buy it, use the code Savage for a 10% off your first purchase.

Savage Lovecast Episode 776

Have you ever lost a dildo up your butt? This man has, but somehow the tale ends up as our opening "sexcess" story. A 51 year-old woman is seeing a 33 year-old man. It's fantastic, but how long can it last? On the Magnum, Dan brings back Lina Dune, from "Ask a Sub" to talk about some subby listener questions and her new podcast. Finally, a couple won't watch porn for ethical reasons. And he doesn't want to be poly or open. She wonders...how can they have any fun?! 206-302-2064   voicemail@savagelovecast.com This episode is brought to you by Helix Sleep-the best mattress for your individualized comfort. Right now, get up to $200 off ALL mattress orders at . This episode is brought to you by Pill Club: the birth control subscription that is delivered right to your door. Get a special care package with your first delivery. Go to . This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. They make it easy to build a website or blog. Give it a whirl at and if you want to buy it, use the code Savage for a 10% off your first purchase.

Savage Love Episode 776

A man's randy co-worker has slept with the wives of other workers and tons of women on the job. He nearly got fired for it, but he's back. Should the caller confront this man and tell him to knock it off? Warn all the females on staff? If someone you were chatting with from an app told you that his previous relationship was with his own therapist, would you consider this a red flag? Would you meet him anyway? On the Magnum, great news! Apple is installing mass surveillance on the iPhone. Just kidding- this is terrible news. Corynne McSherry from the Electronic Frontier Foundation is on to discuss just what this all really means. And, a gay caller asks an age old question: "Is my dick racist?" 206-302-2064 This episode of the Savage Lovecast is sponsored by OMGyes.com: a website dedicated to getting scientific truths out about women's sexual pleasure. Savage Lovecast listeners can get a discount if they go to . Today’s Lovecast is brought to you by MeUndies.com: High quality, super-comfortable, good looking undies. Get 15% off your first order when you go to . This episode is brought to you by Talkspace- online therapy that makes it easy to get extra mental health support. For $100 off your first month, go to and use the offer code Savage.

Savage Love Episode 775

A man's randy co-worker has slept with the wives of other workers and tons of women on the job. He nearly got fired for it, but he's back. Should the caller confront this man and tell him to knock it off? Warn all the females on staff? If someone you were chatting with from an app told you that his previous relationship was with his own therapist, would you consider this a red flag? Would you meet him anyway? On the Magnum, great news! Apple is installing mass surveillance on the iPhone. Just kidding- this is terrible news. Corynne McSherry from the Electronic Frontier Foundation is on to discuss just what this all really means. And, a gay caller asks an age old question: "Is my dick racist?"

Savage Lovecast Episode 775

Everyone's worried that they are taking up too much space. A straight man feels guilty that he signed up for an activity meant for folks in the LGBT community. And, a transman ventured into a gay leather bar with his girlfriend and got the stink-eye. Is it cool to bring your girlfriend into dedicated gay male space? Everybody's talking about the new animated educational series "Welcome to Kinkyville" that's being developed. Dan interviews co-creator/host Emily Blake about this awesome project, and how YOU (yes you, dear listener) can get involved. Check it out at On the Magnum, each and every year a woman takes a family vacation with her overbearing, materialistic, unpleasant brother. How can she wiggle out of this annual obligation? And, it's a couple's "holy grail" to get his nipples to be as sensitive as her's. Is he permanently wired to have tough ole nips? Dan offers a pragmatic regimen. 206-302-2064   voicemail@savagelovecast.com Foria is an all natural health & sexual wellness company with product lines using the power of plant actives & CBD to effectively enhance intimacy, sexual pleasure, daily wellbeing, and relief from discomfort. Get 20% off your first order by visiting This episode of the Savage Lovecast is sponsored by OMGyes.com: a website dedicated to getting scientific truths out about women's sexual pleasure. Savage Lovecast listeners can get a discount if they go to . This episode is brought to you by Calm, the #1 app for sleep and relaxation. For a limited time get 40% off a Calm Premium subscription at .

Savage Love Episode 774

Everyone's worried that they are taking up too much space. A straight man feels guilty that he signed up for an activity meant for folks in the LGBT community. And, a transman ventured into a gay leather bar with his girlfriend and got the stink-eye. Is it cool to bring your girlfriend into dedicated gay male space? Everybody's talking about the new animated educational series "Welcome to Kinkyville" that's being developed. Dan interviews co-creator/host Emily Blake about this awesome project, and how YOU (yes you, dear listener) can get involved. Check it out at www.WelcomeToKinkyville.com On the Magnum, each and every year a woman takes a family vacation with her overbearing, materialistic, unpleasant brother. How can she wiggle out of this annual obligation? And, it's a couple's "holy grail" to get his nipples to be as sensitive as her's. Is he permanently wired to have tough ole nips? Dan offers a pragmatic regimen.

Savage Lovecast Episode 774

Dan Savage, America's only advice columnist, answers your sex questions and yaps about politics. To record a question for Dan to be answered in a later podcast, call 206-302-2064. For a much longer version of the show, with no ads, visit savagelovecast.com and get yourself a season subscription.