About

If you listened to episode 44 you may have responded with the thought, “but I’m in so much pain!”   I did, even as I was recording it. That’s because I was in the early stages of a really painful family crisis. So here I am, In more pain than I know what to do with, reminding myself that pain never comes without leaving behind some good. It’s the kind of good we don’t think about very much, especially in the midst of it. But it’s good in ways that I can’t afford to avoid.   I guess I’m experiencing the power of a new paradigm shift... pain is good.   Have you ever really contemplated the goodness of pain?   I have been doing that all month in my online course and here is what I’m learning about pain.   It’s good because it softens me   It’s good because it humbles me   It’s good because it’s a part of life that all humans experience.   It’s good because it teaches me so much about living as it prepares me for whatever the future holds.   It’s good because it reveals my strength and resilience. Getting through it proves to me that I have what it takes to make it (no matter what life throws at me).   It’s good because it invites the best of me to show up as I get in touch with how much I need people, creativity, vision, and hope. I need to respond in a way that teaches me to believe in my ability to survive pain and thrive in the midst of it.   It opens me up to the goodness of transparency.   It makes me more compassionate toward others.   As a person of faith... it also dramatically increases my intimacy with Jesus.   I don’t know if you can sense the goodness of calling pain good yet, but if you are willing to see the potential it offers enough to try embracing it as good, I think you will.   In order to gain all of that goodness from pain, we have to accept it even though we don’t want it.   And once we choose to take the next step and call it good because we actually want some of those things pain offers... the flood gates open!   I will never want to feel pain but In order to gain all of the goodness it offers I have to accept it even though I don’t want it.   Then once I choose to take the next step and call it good because I actually want some of those things pain offers... the flood gates open up.   No pain, no gain is not just true in relation to the strength of our physical bodies. It’s true in our emotional lives as well. I didn’t learn to navigate pain growing up and I didn’t know how to teach my own kids either. I wish I had. But I know it’s all the more reason I need to call their pain good now. Of course, that means calling my pain good too- because their pain IS my pain. I have to figure out how to walk through mine and let them do the same offering whatever support they are willing to receive.   Just this week as I was talking with one of my grandkids he said this to me:   “I used to get so mad at you when I was fighting with my sister and you would say, “you are so lucky to have each other. But you were right.” It’s pretty cool to watch that 19-year-old and his 17-year-old sister be such good friends today.”   If you can open yourself up to the possibilities that might present themselves in the presence of pain, just enough to try them on. I believe you will find yourself ready to join me on this fascinating journey. I hope so. More internal freedom becomes ours as we answer the question of if we matter more deeply than ever as we experience pain. Does everyone matter regardless of how they handle the pain of life and how much of the pain they create?   Or does everyone who feels pain just matter?             Want to dialogue more? Join our Facebook group here. Any questions or comments? Email me directly here. Ready to start transforming your relationships? Go to our website and check out the resources on my coaching page.