Comedy
Episode 42. Another great episode - Season 4 is changing the game. And now...this weeks fan-fiction submission! Enjoy!! The gristle of last night’s vomit clung to Mike’s chin as the light of dawn struck the couch. It was a hard night of not drinking, typical of these Mike and Tim days. Mike managed to wipe most of the remnants from his disgusting hangover face. A quick check of his watch confirmed his fears, it was almost 10 o’clock. There would be no time to clean himself up. He half-stumbled to the computer and flopped into his chair. “Fucking stupid fucking piece of shit computer!” Mike hammered at the keyboard to bring up Skype. In the kitchen, Nicole dropped a fork. “Oh my god! Do you have to make so much noise? I’m trying to be professional here!” Mike shouted at her, but he smiled so it was okay. Totally just a joke, no biggie. Suddenly, his computer shone with transcendental light, Tim had picked up the skype call. Mike shielded his eyes, but the pure spiritual magnitude of the light permeated his every pore. Instantly he felt marginally better and cheered the fuck up slightly. Maybe, who knows? Tim toned down the light show and started talking. He was saying… something. Mike didn’t know, he wasn’t even sure if Tim knew, but he smiled slightly and laughed occasionally to keep the conversation going. He drifted in and out, waiting for his chance to tell his much more interesting story. He had just opened his mouth to plug his album, I Think It Just Kicked In, available on iTunes, when he noticed a shadow creeping in behind Tim’s luminescence. That flat bastard. Mike booked it out of the house, running as fast as possible to get to Rockland and warn Tim. The limits of human endurance were nothing to a man as overworked as he, and he ran day and night for weeks on end until he crashed through Gina’s door. The room was in disarray, cats crawling all over the furniture, half-eaten sandwiches everywhere. There, standing over Tim, infecting his aura with his own sickly green light, was Dave. “Tim!” Mike cried out. Tim said something, but nobody could really hear so Mike just went on. “Sorry, I would have gotten here sooner but I had to stop and tell everyone how much I kicked ass at high school basketball. I’m not sure if I mentioned it to you, but I was possibly the greatest.” Dave stepped away from Tim. His Duraflame log pulsed menacingly through his shorts, engorged with scepticism. Tim said effectively nothing. Dave stalked closer to Mike. He began opening up videos on his phone, pointing out “fake” blood and “staged” interviews. He droned on and on, forcing insults clumsily into the names of celebrities. Mike tried to get a word in edgewise but was quickly being buried under 70 plus hours of required YouTube viewing. “Just watch it on double speed, just watch it on double speed!” Dave taunted. Mike tried to focus through the bullshit. He had to pull it together and try the only thing that he knew would stem the flow. He summoned all of his willpower, channelling the patience of MLK. “Dave,” He lied through his teeth. “ I think you may have a point.” “What?” Dave’s barrage of “truth” stopped. He stood stunned and surprised like a cop being filmed, debating whether to continue the senseless violence. Dave stammered “Um…uh…yeah! Of course.” Tim may have said something as he got to his feet. Tim quickly aligned the energies of the universe, gathering positive energy into his hands. He was finally ready to heal Dave. Tim slammed his fist into Dave’s kidney, feeling something pop beneath his fist. Dave vomited his negative energy and a good portion of his breakfast onto Gina’s carpet as he collapsed like a tower. He may have also shit himself. Tim that is, not Dave. Tim stood in the center of the floor watching the saddened Dave wipe at the vomit on the carpet. Tim might have also said something here, but Mike had already left. BUY MIKE'S ALBUM https://itunes.apple.com/us/album/i-think-it-just-kicked-in/id1273372368 DIVINEEVOLUTION.EVENTBRITE use "TDMPOD" for 10% off