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Our fourth episode of Totally Made Up Tales, with more tales of wonder and mystery. Spread the word! Tell a friend! Music: Creepy – Bensound.com. Andrew: Here are some totally made up tales. Brought to you by the magic of the internet. James: One Andrew: Day James: Elise Andrew: Held James: Her Andrew: Boyfriend James: Tightly Andrew: And James: Whispered Andrew: That James: She Andrew: Was James: Pregnant. Andrew: He James: Was Andrew: Surprised James: But Andrew: Delighted. James: Together Andrew: They James: Planned Andrew: For James: A Andrew: Home James: That Andrew: Would James: Welcome Andrew: A James: New Andrew: Life. James: Painting Andrew: The James: Nursery Andrew: In James: Bright Andrew: Green James: With Andrew: Some James: Dinosaurs Andrew: On James: The Andrew: Walls. James: Building Andrew: A James: Crib Andrew: Out James: Of Andrew: Ikea James: And Andrew: Reading James: To Andrew: Each James: Other Andrew: The James: Day Andrew: Of James: Delivery Andrew: Arrived James: And Andrew: They James: Took Andrew: Elise James: To Andrew: The James: Hospital, Andrew: Where James: She Andrew: Gave James: Birth Andrew: To James: A Andrew: Healthy James: Baby Andrew: Dinosaur James: The Andrew: End. James: This is the story of the Gamekeeper's Family. Once upon a time, not so very long ago, there lived a couple in a wood. Andrew: The husband was a gamekeeper at the local estate. James: His wife was a housekeeper for the same. Andrew: They had lived in their little cottage very happily for the last fifteen years. James: But ... they longed for a child. Andrew: They had tried many things, been to doctors, healers and priests but without success. James: They had traveled the world looking for witches that might be able to cure their barrenness, but all in vain. Andrew: After many years of searching and hoping, they had resigned themselves to their situation and were content to mind the children of their neighbours and fellow workers. James: But one day, as the gamekeeper walked home through the forest paths, he came across a basket. Andrew: Attached to the basket was a note, read, “please take care of me” and inside wrapped up in blankets there was a tiny baby. James: He rushed home to his wife to show her what he had found. Andrew: They spent a long time discussing whether or not it would be right for them to keep this child. Who had left it there and why? James: Eventually, they chose to consult the local vicar who assured them that with all of their experience helping to look after their neighbours' children and given that almost everyone else in the village already had children of their own, the right thing would be for them to keep it and raise it as their own. Andrew: This they did, with great success and a fine healthy young man was the product of their labours. James: They had named him Benjamin, after the wife's father and as Benjamin grew in stature, he also grew in the love given to him, not only by them but by others in the village. For everyone enjoyed his outgoing and pleasant company. Andrew: As the years passed the time came for him to take over his father's job as gamekeeper on the estate and this he did. James: He had spent his childhood growing up amongst the forest and knew how to look for the different types of woodland animal and also how to protect them. How best to defend them from poachers and so forth. And so, continuing the charm of his childhood as he started his job, he proved to be more than adept as a gamekeeper and was rapidly promoted until he became head gamekeeper. Andrew: After many years, his parents passed away in a peaceful old age and he moved back to the cottage where he had grown up. James: By this time, he was himself, married, although as with his parents, he and his wife Amelia, had not been able to have a child. Andrew: One day, while out walking in the estate, completing his rounds and jobs, Benjamin too came across a basket with a note attached. James: The note, as the note on his own basket, said “please take care of me” and inside was a tiny child that he took home to Amelia and which as with his parents before him, they decided it was right to adopt. Andrew: Now, the listener will not know that Benjamin's parents had not chosen to share with him the story of how they had found him in a cradle in the woods. And so, it did not occur to him that there was anything unusual about this coincidence. James: As Benjamin and Amelia's daughter, Susanna, grew, she also, much like Benjamin was much loved around the village and when it came time for her to start working, she took over Amelia's job as housekeeper, as Amelia had taken over the job of Benjamin's mother before her. Andrew: And so it was that this story played out from generation to generation. Susanna had a son named Robert. Robert had a daughter named Barbara. Barbara had a son named Tom. James: And always, down through the generations, the same jobs were passed from father to daughter, from daughter to son, across the generations, gamekeeper and housekeeper both. Andrew: But why? Why was it that these popular, lovable, outgoing people were never able to have children of their own? And where was it that the mysterious foundlings were coming from? James: For that, dear listener, we must go back to the first gamekeeper and housekeeper, Benjamin's parents, and see their story from another angle. Andrew: Once upon a time there was a magical forest where there dwelled many sprites and pixies. James: Chief among them was a fairy who had lived for many hundreds of years, spending her time looking after the non-magical creatures of the kingdom. Andrew: Now, many fairies have an ambiguous and complicated relationship with human beings, seeing them somewhat like a tree sees a fungus growing on its bark. James: At times, the fairy would help humans through stumbling difficulties in their lives, but at other times she would punish them for what she saw as a transgression against the magical forest. Andrew: She was, to our eyes, capricious in her whims. Sometimes kind, sometimes cruel. James: One day, the gamekeeper, while walking home through the forest spied a rogue pheasant which had somehow escaped from, as he thought, the forest that he managed. Andrew: What appeared to be a pheasant to his eyes, was in fact the fairy, wandering through her domain. James: He carefully set a trap and as she did not consider him a threat, she walked right into it and was quickly bound and trussed with him carrying her home towards the pot. Andrew: He was not by nature a sentimental person, having spent his life working with the wild animals of the forest. But, there was something about the way this bird fixed him with a seemingly knowing stare as he set it down on the kitchen table that made him think twice about instantly wringing its neck. James: In the moment that he hesitated, the fairy, as fairies sometimes do, cast a spell, not only for her to be released and free but also so that he would forget having ever encountered her. And, as fairies are also sometimes wont to do, she cursed him at that moment, annoyed and upset that she had ignominiously been bound and walked over the forest. She cursed him that he should never have a child to love him. Andrew: Sometime later, the fairy observed his wife walking through the forest and weeping and lamenting her lack of children. James: Unaware that this woman was in any way related to the gamekeeper she had previously cursed, she cast a beneficial spell over the housekeeper that she would have a child that she so clearly desired. Andrew: The child of course, was easy to provide for fairy folk often have children which they need to be raised in the human world. James: And no one ever questioned from Benjamin through Susanna, through Robert, through Barbara, through Tom, why, when their feet touched the ground in the forest, flowers grew in their footsteps. Andrew: And from generation to generation, they continued to live, in the small charming cottage in the middle of the wonderful magical wood. James: Sally Andrew: Held James: Her Andrew: Handbag James: Defensively Andrew: When James: The Andrew: Mugger James: Threatened Andrew: Her James: With Andrew: A James: Knife. Andrew: She James: Balanced Andrew: On James: The Andrew: Balls James: Of Andrew: Her James: Feet Andrew: And James: Lashed Andrew: Out James: With Andrew: Her James: Handbag Andrew: Knocking James: Him Andrew: Over James: And Andrew: Giving James: Her Andrew: The James: Chance Andrew: To James: Escape. Andrew: She James: Reported Andrew: The James: Incident Andrew: To James: The Andrew: Police James: Who Andrew: Promptly James: Ignored Andrew: Her James: And Andrew: Carried James: On Andrew: Filling James: In Andrew: Paperwork. James: The Andrew: End. James: Our next story is Jeremy's Place. One Andrew: Day James: Jeremy Andrew: Was James: Walking Andrew: Along James: The Andrew: High James: Street Andrew: When James: He Andrew: Noticed James: That Andrew: The James: Shops Andrew: Were James: All Andrew: Closed. James: In Andrew: Normal James: Times Andrew: They James: Would Andrew: Be James: Open Andrew: On James: Fridays Andrew: But James: Today Andrew: They James: Were Andrew: Not James: “Hmmm?” Andrew: He James: Thought Andrew: “Is James: There Andrew: A James: Special Andrew: Occasion? James: Perhaps Andrew: It's James: Remembrance Andrew: Day? James: But Andrew: That James: Is Andrew: Always James: On Andrew: A James: Sunday.” Andrew: So James: He Andrew: Knocked James: On Andrew: The James: Door Andrew: Of James: The Andrew: Post James: Office Andrew: And James: Waited Andrew: For James: Someone Andrew: To James: Open Andrew: It. James: Waited Andrew: And James: Waited Andrew: Then James: Waited Andrew: Some James: More. Andrew: He James: Gave Andrew: The James: Putative Andrew: Post-mistress James: Half Andrew: An James: Hour Andrew: And James: She Andrew: Didn't James: Appear. Andrew: So James: He Andrew: Pushed James: And Andrew: The James: Door Andrew: Opened. James: “Funny,” Andrew: He James: Thought Andrew: And James: Stepped Andrew: Inside. James: Inside Andrew: There James: Was Andrew: No James: Light. Andrew: In James: The Andrew: Space James: Reserved Andrew: For James: Packages, Andrew: There James: Was Andrew: A James: Small Andrew: Dog. James: “Strange,” Andrew: He James: Thought, Andrew: And James: Approached. Andrew: The James: Dog Andrew: Looked James: At Andrew: Him James: And Andrew: Opened James: His Andrew: Mouth. James: “Why Andrew: Are James: You Andrew: Here?” James: Asked Andrew: The James: Dog Andrew: “I James: Want Andrew: To James: Know Andrew: What's James: Going Andrew: On?” James: Said Andrew: Jeremy. James: “This Andrew: Is James: Not Andrew: A James: Place Andrew: For James: You.” Andrew: Said James: The Andrew: Dog James: “Where Andrew: Am James: I?” Andrew: “You James: Are Andrew: In James: The Andrew: Seventh James: Kingdom.” Andrew: Jeremy James: Backed Andrew: Away James: From Andrew: The James: Dog Andrew: And James: Fled. Andrew: Once James: Outside Andrew: He James: Started Andrew: To James: Calm Andrew: Down James: Again. Andrew: He James: Convinced Andrew: Himself James: That Andrew: Nothing James: Strange Andrew: Had James: Happened Andrew: To James: Him Andrew: And James: Proceeded Andrew: To James: Walk Andrew: Down James: The Andrew: High James: Street Andrew: And James: Knocked Andrew: On James: The Andrew: Door James: Of Andrew: The James: Butchers. Andrew: Again James: There Andrew: Was James: No Andrew: Reply James: So Andrew: He James: Pushed Andrew: The James: Door Andrew: Open James: And Andrew: Stepped James: Inside. Andrew: Within, James: There Andrew: Was James: No Andrew: Light. James: In Andrew: The James: Area Andrew: Where James: Meat Andrew: Would James: Be Andrew: Chilled James: There Andrew: Was James: Another Andrew: Dog. James: “What Andrew: Are James: You Andrew: Doing James: Here?” Andrew: Said James: The Andrew: Dog. James: “I'm Andrew: Just…” James: “No!” Andrew: Said James: The Andrew: Dog. James: “This Andrew: Is James: Not Andrew: A James: Place Andrew: For James: You!” Andrew: Jeremy James: Looked Andrew: Confused. James: “Where Andrew: Am James: I?” Andrew: “Go! James: This Andrew: Is James: The Andrew: Kingdom. James: You Andrew: Must James: Leave.” Andrew: Jeremy James: Backed Andrew: Away James: From Andrew: The James: Dog Andrew: Into James: The Andrew: Doorway, James: And Andrew: Stepped James: Back Andrew: Onto James: The Andrew: High James: Street. Andrew: Now James: He Andrew: Was James: Having Andrew: Second James: Thoughts Andrew: About James: The Andrew: Shopping James: Trip Andrew: That James: He Andrew: Had James: Planned Andrew: And James: Walked Andrew: Back James: Towards Andrew: Home. James: Passing Andrew: The James: Police Andrew: Station, James: He Andrew: Went James: To Andrew: The James: Door Andrew: And James: Knocked. Andrew: The James: Door Andrew: Was James: Not Andrew: Locked, James: And Andrew: So James: He Andrew: Went James: Inside. Andrew: Within, James: There Andrew: Was James: No Andrew: Light. James: In Andrew: The James: Cells Andrew: Where James: Prisoners Andrew: Usually James: Resided, Andrew: There James: Was Andrew: A James: Third Andrew: Dog. James: “Seriously!” Andrew: Said James: The Andrew: Dog. James: “What Andrew: Are James: You Andrew: Doing James: Here?” Andrew: Jeremy James: Panicked Andrew: And James: Ran Andrew: At James: The Andrew: Dog. James: “Give Andrew: Me James: Back Andrew: My James: Place!” Andrew: He James: Exclaimed. Andrew: The James: Dog Andrew: Jumped James: Sideways Andrew: And James: Avoided Andrew: Jeremy's James: Grasping, Andrew: And James: Replied, Andrew: “This James: Is Andrew: Your James: Place Andrew: Here.” James: Slamming Andrew: The James: Cell Andrew: Door James: Shut, Andrew: Jeremy James: Collapsed Andrew: Into James: The Andrew: Corner James: And Andrew: Slept. James: The Andrew: Next James: Day Andrew: He James: Awoke Andrew: In James: The Andrew: Cell James: To Andrew: Discover James: Three Andrew: Policemen James: Looking Andrew: At James: Him Andrew: In James: Confusion. Andrew: “What's James: All Andrew: This James: Then?” Andrew: They James: Said Andrew: In James: Unison. Andrew: Jeremy James: Stumbled Andrew: Out James: Into Andrew: The James: Open Andrew: Air James: And Andrew: Saw James: That Andrew: Things James: Were Andrew: Back James: To Andrew: Normal. James: The Andrew: Post James: Office Andrew: Was James: Open, Andrew: The James: Butchers Andrew: Had James: Customers, Andrew: The James: High Andrew: Street James: Was Andrew: Bustling. James: “What Andrew: Happened James: Yesterday?” Andrew: He James: Thought Andrew: As James: He Andrew: Opened James: His Andrew: Front James: Door. Andrew: “I James: Swore Andrew: I…” James: And Andrew: In James: Front Andrew: Of James: Him Andrew: Were James: Three Andrew: Dogs. James: The Andrew: End. James: Peter Andrew: Liked James: Jam Andrew: And James: Toast. Andrew: He James: Regularly Andrew: Ate James: Ten Andrew: Slices James: Of Andrew: Them James: For Andrew: Breakfast. James: His Andrew: Constitution James: Was Andrew: As James: Solid Andrew: As James: A Andrew: House. James: One Andrew: Day James: He Andrew: Ran James: Out Andrew: Of James: Jam Andrew: And James: Had Andrew: To James: Use Andrew: Marmite James: Instead. Andrew: This James: Gummed Andrew: His James: Works Andrew: Up James: And Andrew: He James: Slowly Andrew: Died. James: The Andrew: End. I've been Andrew, and I'm here with James. These stories were recorded without advanced planning and then lightly edited for the discerning listener. Join us next time for more totally made-up tales ...