About

This week wraps up the 3 week series of re-airing some of Chelsey's favorite episodes over the last two years. Today we close out this series with an episode full of Godly wisdom on how to handle disagreements in a Godly way with Angela Donadio. Angela brings such great perspective and the Word of God to this very timely topic! 1) Tell us about the wonderful you!My husband, Dale and I pastor a church an hour south of Washington DC - in Fredericksburg VA. I serve as a pastor on staff with a focus on women and leadership. We have 2 young adults - Gabrielle, who just graduated from JMU with a musical theatre degree, and is home for a little bit performing regionally, and a son, Christian, who is attending college at VOUS University in Miami - an extension of Southeastern U.So we're in a new season in our family - and there's never a dull moment. And of course, our favorite member of the family, our Shih Tzu, Chewie - short for Chewbacca. :)My degree was Music Education and I served as a Worship Pastor for 20 years and have 3 CD's with original songs and arrangements before I started writing Bible Study resources for women. I'm still active musically in my local community theatre as a Music Director and pianist. That's a fun, creative outlet for me. 2) I felt so compelled to reach out to you when you posted about the topic of disagreements. In our time of history it’s SO hard to disagree without walking away with someone feeling “bullied or belittled” “misheard or judged”.  When you’re in a conversation that’s heading this way what do in this situation? Do you address how it’s feeling or do you redirect? I completely agree with you. Unfortunately, society has shifted from dialogue to debate, and we can't simultaneously listen empathetically and try to win an argument. Conflict is inevitable, but learning to handle conflict in a godly, respectful way is so important. I don't always nail this, I confess! We don't have to agree with someone to honor them. A mentor once encouraged me to filter disagreements through this lens: "Am I trying to do right or be right?" If the disagreement is with someone close to you - family, or close friend, allowing for things to settle down and revisiting it after emotions have calmed down can help. Listening for - and validating - the other person's feelings is critical - even if you don't agree. Validation doesn't mean agreement. It simply means you understand where that person is coming from. Until someone feels "heard" or "understood" it's hard to move on past that place. But if the disagreement is with someone you barely know, for example social media, or you realize you're not going to get on the same page. It's best to let it go. A conflict at work can sometimes be a bit trickier and needs other resolution approaches.3) We can’t control what people do or don’t do. Stand for or don’t stand for. I spoke about holy boldness on my podcast 2 months ago, God’s Boldness is much more gentle than our fleshly boldness. How have you navigated this with ones close to you? I love that truth - think of how God handles us. We can be grateful He is gentler with us than we are sometimes! We can't control other people's reactions; we can only control our responses. We waste a lot of emotional reserves and energy focusing on trying to control where we disagree. Ultimately, I'm not the Holy Spirit and I can't convict anyone of sin or help lead someone to heart change. Only He can do that. I can love people where they are and point people to Jesus. I'm still learning to adapt to having young adult children, and the 4 of us are now adults with strong opinions. Sometimes we disagree and some topics just aren't wise for us to discuss. But relational conflict needs open and honest communication and respect for the other person's viewpoint. 4) Your statement, “No one has power over you unless you give it to them”. Do you have any biblical encouragement for girls like me who struggle with this! I can really credit Eleanor Rosevelt for this statement  - she said it this way, "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." But it is challenging! I think immediately of Esther in the Bible. Once she learned that Haman, high up in the King's command, planned the genocide of her entire people, she had to sit on that information until the right moment to act. She gave us a template:Stop and pray. Enlist a couple people you trust to pray with you (they don't even have to know the details.)Wait for God's timing. Speak the truth in love - more concerned with the good of others than your own feelings. A friend once said to me - If you have to talk with someone about an offense or a disagreement, it should hurt you as much to say it as it will for them to hear it. If we haven't prayed through our emotions and listened for God's voice on how to respond until we can honestly say we're at this place, we're not ready yet. 5) Love is fuel. Can you elaborate on this and why we’ve got be better at being the hands and feet of Jesus. Anger is fuel but so is love. We have to choose which we're going to be fueled by. One repels and estranges us from others, and one endears us to others. One of the titles of Jesus I'm most intrigued by is those who called Him a "friend of sinners." Somehow he navigated speaking truth but in love - so people were drawn to Him and drawn to a new way of living. Scripture says that the Kindness of God leads to repentance. When our actions and words are fueled by genuine love for others - which can only come after we've spent time with Jesus privately, then others will be drawn to Jesus. In my upcoming Bible study I put it this way: "We'll be the best version of ourselves in public when we've spent time with Jesus in private." If I haven't gotten His heart I can't show His heart to others. 6) Living With Less Question - the podcast is all about Living With Less of the things getting in the way of who Christ is calling us to be. If someone asked you what they should start living with less of in regards to this what would you tell them and why? Live with less unmet expectations. The root of a lot of conflict is unmet expectations. This leads us to disappointment and resentment. It doesn't mean we shouldn't have realistic expectations of ourselves or others. It means we need to constantly release any unmet expectations to Jesus, because ultimately, only He is able to fully meet the expectations of our heart. If we're feeling stuck, we can get unstuck by talking our emotions through with the other person, if that's the right solution, or settling our sideways emotions in Jesus' presence. Bring as few people into the drama of a situation as possible. It makes it much harder to resolve and adds unnecessary dynamics of conflict. Also, living with less insecurity. Insecurity feeds a lot of conflict. When we ground our worth in the Word we aren't as prey to the dangers of insecurity. Insecurity drives us toward competition with others rather than celebrating others. If we look for ways to bring peace into a situation and elevate others rather than win an argument, we'll live stronger, healthier, happier lives. 7) Favorite bible verse and why So many! 1 John 3:1 - See what great love the Father has lavished on us - that we should be called children of God." When we live loved, we can love others. 8) Share with us your new bible study coming out! Fearless, Ordinary Women of the Bible who Dared to do Extraordinary Things - launches October 1st! They can pre-order today at angeladonadio.com and purchase at their favorite retailer on October 1st! 6-session Bible study designed to help us find our fearless as we discover what happens when uncommon faith has an unexpected encounter with an extraordinary God. Whether you're longing to realize your purpose, fighting for a God-given cause, or kicking fear to the curb, these women of the Bible will help us stop the cycle of comparison and overcome the barriers to fearless living.