Comedy
Download Now! i'm gonna skip the bit because tonight on revenge..... it's large victories tempered by little sadnesses. the true heart of the "melo"'d drama is laid bare for us tonight on the television screen. Emlanda Clorne......... for so long we've known you. we've rooted for you.... for some reason not to kill people? why is this still a thing in this show? they forget about everything else all the time why not just forget about that. i would be more mad right now if i didn't remember the finalé of that particular character arc--i.e.: the show, in toto--may as well have been written by us, in podcast form, as fanfiction. but that's a little story for season FOUR For as long as we've known and cared about Emily, for considerably less time have we we known Aiden, who we do sometimes still call EYE-den (though, mercifully, not in this episode, i think? but maybe, i don't really listen when i'm editing--i wouldn't so much call it "editing", what i do, as it is "edit in the Law and Order SVU DONK DONK sound more often than i should, which is zero.) so Aiden. right now, he thought he'd be shipping his big old head and his accent all the way back to Anaheim, California, the home of A Disney Place, itself the home of Epicott Center (less sure on this one???), which is a longwinded way of reminding you that Revenge's idea of England is a single street from It's A Small World After All and acknowledging there's something called a "lorry." ah, revenge..... we're not so different, you and i.... ? oh hello, panza just came in. she is here because she smelled i had an egg. her favorite spot in our new office is directly underneath my desk. that kind of coziness, crossed with her Big Dog status, melds into a kind of irresistible kryptonite of cuteness, such that i can't say no to her, despite that i am now recognizing, in the process of typing this, that someone has almost 100% certainly sat in the new garden manure. well that's how it goes!!! i mean the fucking world is still burning down around us but i guess we all stopped talking about it because who could sustain that level of verbal unease for more than a whole week--ring ring.... what's that? the ghost of jerry orbach is calling to tell me we're still in a global pandemic overseen by the dumbest minds in modern fascism? cool!! well i'll just remind us all that a deadly virus is what spurred the successful (in the sssshort term?) commnunist revolution in notable cool game Disco Elysium--possible contender for last year's GOTY(contender.... how the shit am i still on #8.... it's fuckin august dude.... and it's been open in my browser since like... may.... i just can't get over this corndog shit and get it out the door. bro!!!!) shit, man.... that post is so old i talk about finishing Dark Cloud "recently,"... i have been grafting bits of RE2 and DMC5 onto that thing like plugging holes in a bathtub boat for like 6 months--haha life is so weird now. i used to get upset about things like...... not writing. now i get upset if i stand for more than the 90 seconds my injured back is willing to give me and i end up having to moan in bed for like an hour as a consequence?anything less than that is more like a head check to see if i'm still alive.) what about Revenge? well, i can only speak for myself, because Graziella is working her first day of her *NEW JOB* today (???) but i think it's a modern masterpiece easily as good as a Kubrick movie but approximately forty times as long. what more is there to say? people call her girl Batman and i don't see why, because Batman sucks. he's like one of the worst superheroes and yet they keep making movies about him and not Blade. why is revenge better? because it has feelings. GIRL feelings! or at least............."girl feelings" as interpreted by an affluent gay white dude so.....that's like....its own genre. it burned very bright for so very long, and quite beautifully at times, for all its lumps. i don't know why i'm eulogizing the show when i should be eulogizing conrad. but i won't. why? because the episode where he got kicked off the board and wore boat shorts by the pool, exposing us to all his weird and mossy old man leg hair, breaching the social contract. this, plus the Frank Sinatra singing like he's your drunk and cryptoracist in-law at an extended family holiday gathering, thus rendering him In Conflicto Excommunicato according to the edicts of The Purgatoria Duo Decem. which is, naturally, why the wolves are set on him, which is why he dies in a forest by the light of the moon??? hello??? well, like recognizes like, is what i'm saying. this is one thought among a melange of stimuli, as the lone Hoodie Wolf stalks his prey. the lightest whüf of pömade off silvery pelt, shining 'neath silvery moonlight. the dulcet tones of Old Blue Eye and eyes of blue, flashing sagaciously in the dark. that stunted colossus waves as the Hoodie Wolf slinks into the headlights' amber corona. smiling with all the promise of a new beginning, he'll have such precious little time to realize he should've been making peace for the final end.?? --OF THIS SHOVEL, BITCH!!? is what i would say to victoria, if i were emily, after hitting her with a shovel. it would take a long time and no one would hear it but i would feel obligated to, because i practiced.....so long in the mirror......... waiting............ for this day... to come.? Topics for Consideration: DOCTOR BANKS?! Metaphysical Daddy Gifts Single-Rail Danny Choo-Choo "Spares" Revenge.... For Me....? Target Status: write us a review on iTunes using this link. it seems like it matters? but i don't really check or anything so you could just lie :) also we have a mailing list now! Sign up for... uhhh whenever the new DNUASC is coming, that's pretty much it for the moment. (as i conclude this blog, panza is asleep underneath me, and i dare not move, because her little angel paw is twitching against my toes in her sleep?it was...all worth it....)