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You tell me that there is just one of us in this room. You hear me begin to say, And that's one too ma-- but my voice is washed out. The hatch closes. A view through the porthole shows a Stranger pushing themself into inky water, swimming toward the stranger land above. ---------------- ------------- ------------- This week, the Miracles in Manhattan Podcast proves an impossible thing. Also we get to the bottom of lost loves, god, sex, cheesecake, and even lesson 14 of A Course in Miracles. Steph and Marco make a triumphant return to form - If there's one thing your hosts know how to do, it's claw their way out from under. Politics, Zen, spirit are, as ever, on the table. Find us! WildManhattan.com Steph's book: The Art of Romance Marco's book, reviewed Transcript (or see video transcript on our website): [00:00:02.910] All right. Hi, we're back. Happy New Year. It's the end of February. And somehow you're listening to Miracle's in Manhattan again. This is producer Marco happening at the top of the episode to just say thank you to anybody who is tuning back in after a bit of an unexpected hiatus in which we went to podcasting camp and became epic. So if you would do us the kindness of just chillin out and giving us three years to talk into. For a while, I think everybody's going to be really happy about the outcome. [00:00:41.010] Seriously, we missed you and sorry to go off the radar. We've got some episodes in the can and we are excited to hear from you. Four episodes going forward. You can e-mail us by checking us out on Twitter. Our Web site. You know how to find it. Anyway, we are back and we will be releasing on Wednesdays. Author stays for the foreseeable future. So stay tuned. And most of all, to keep it wavy. [00:01:11.230] God did not create a meaningless world, the law of cause and effect, of course, and in living in fear is a a guaranteed way to make it so that you don't know how to love anything. [00:01:30.580] - Stephanie Wild Yeah. Fear and love that those are the only two things. And that's the only place we have free will so we can choose love. Or we can choose fear at any moment. [00:01:40.810] - Marco Maisto That's that's all that we can do. And that's what determines what happens next. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, for sure. Like the graveyard of of failed romance. Romance, I guess is the word that I that I should use is more of a garden. It absolutely is. [00:02:14.680] And we are moving towards the point where sorrow and happiness are the same thing. So hopefully this provides some comfort to out here. Exactly. On the other hand, it could totally freak them out. [00:02:40.200] But we'll see. You look skeptical about that. Do you feel like a trembling to hear a trembling tremble, tremble, tremble? Were you there when they crucified my lord? So there was a hymn. So there was a hymn from my school. Oh, Stephanie, no, that was a gift to your producer. Cause that's the is the first thing pepople will hear. [00:03:04.740] But autotuned. [00:03:13.600] And the sooner we accept that there is only one of us in this room, the sooner we will behave with compassion. [00:03:26.170] - Marco Maisto Wait a minute. There's only one of us in this room. Yeah, because bodies are an illusion. Separation is an illusion. Oh, I see. Know why I assumed you meant it was you. [00:03:42.610] They're black, but they're blaming the other person for hurting them. If he didn't do that, I wouldn't be in this pain. Or if I was more lovable, I wouldn't be in this pain. [00:03:55.230] - Stephanie Wild But what this means is that we can be free from all of that angst and we can just enjoy sex and cheesecake. [00:04:06.460] So if you remember. Stuff. Yeah. Well, do. Why? What happens? He can say the name of the show and everything. Oh, I forgot. What do we got? This is miracle's in Manhattan. Hi, Marco. Hey, Steph. [00:04:20.110] How are you? Hi. Good. I'm really, really well. I'm really, really well. Every day I just. He's always good no matter what. [00:04:30.640] - Stephanie Wild And that's where we want everyone to be. Yeah. [00:04:33.760] - Stephanie Wild 7:45 p.m. in New York. Drinking coffee? Yeah. Use this as a coaster. I'm sorry. I know the tap tap tapping you don't like. [00:04:40.920] - Marco Maisto It's not for me is for the Rs. [00:04:43.240] - Marco Maisto It's for the unique downloaders. Hey, stuff. Yeah. Well, let's do it again. So I'm Reverend Stephanie Wilde, psychic medium and spiritualist minister, spiritual counsellor. And you are? [00:04:57.650] Marko Meansto, taxi driver, owner of a fleet of taxi drivers. I'm Mark on me. So writer. I think that's a producer. Producer? Yeah. Make the show happen. And today is lesson 14 of a course in Miracles. God did not. Yeah, well, let's do it. Didn't say the name of the show and everything was oh, I forgot. We say usually. Welcome to Britain's Manhattan. So welcome to Miracle's in Manhattan. [00:05:28.460] I am the Reverend Stephanie Wilde, spiritualists minister, a psychic medium. And you are ha. I am Marco Maisto, poet and producer. And this is the show or two spiritual delinquents. [00:05:41.480] Try to wake up in the city that never sleeps. There you go. And that's why we're having coffee at 7:45. Yeah. Good morning. [00:05:58.040] We're up to listen 14 of a course in Miracles. And the lesson is, buckle up. Did not create a meaningless world. [00:06:08.540] What do we mean by God in this? Right. [00:06:11.990] Well, you can substitute the word God with spirit or universe or infinite intelligence or quantum field, or you can just take the word God out of it completely. [00:06:28.640] And you can say, I created this world with my thoughts. [00:06:34.130] We all together created this world with our thoughts and actions. [00:06:38.870] And it does not exist because we know now from the previous exercises. Right, that we create all of our experiences with our thoughts. We give everything we have given everything in this room all the meaning it has for us. Yes. They're not in control of everything. [00:06:55.580] They don't have to be responsible for everything. Right. [00:06:58.680] Okay. This gets us away from questions that theists might have issues with, such as why is there suffering exactly. [00:07:09.470] So many organized religions grapple with that question and it's pointless question what's going to be meaningless? But we use that word to me. It's a it's a pointless question because because God did not create suffering. [00:07:27.020] - Marco Maisto We did again. Yeah. Straight on the money with the better part of my hack of Zen as I understand it. [00:07:37.040] Oh, yeah. I mean, a key a key principle design is is that life is pain or life is suffering. And the solution to that is to detach from attachments and desires and things like that because they are illusions. Right. [00:07:54.590] And that's that's it. [00:07:58.520] But for the atheists, well, this is a really easy lesson because, you know, if God doesn't exist, he couldn't have created a meaningless world. He didn't create that world any way. [00:08:08.620] That is very sad. That's a very good observation. I really take that. So if you want to do the exercise itself with eyes closed. [00:08:17.450] Think of all the horrors in the world that cross your mind. Name each one as it occurs to you and then deny its reality. [00:08:26.620] - Stephanie Wild Say, for example, God did not create that war, and so it is not real. God did not create that airplane crash. And so it is not real. God did not create insert name of any politician that you hate. [00:08:39.640] - Marco Maisto Devin Nunes is an idiot. [00:08:41.560] - Stephanie Wild And so it is not real. [00:08:44.470] - Stephanie Wild And if you don't want to use the word God, you know, you can just take that out of the out of the equation and say we all collectively created wars. It's not real. It doesn't have to be that way. [00:08:57.940] - Stephanie Wild We all collectively created this political horror that we're living in, and we didn't have to do that. [00:09:05.840] - Stephanie Wild And it's not real. It doesn't have to exist. [00:09:10.810] - Marco Maisto That's interesting. Yeah. [00:09:13.840] - Stephanie Wild And one of the big criticisms that I've heard from people who don't understand what this work is really about is that they say, well, this just leads to nihilism, because if nothing exists, well, we can do whatever we want. [00:09:32.740] - Stephanie Wild But that denies consequences. There are consequences. The law of cause and effect is is in play. [00:09:40.090] - Stephanie Wild And what we do does matter at the level of form in if we if we act with fear, which means anger, hatred, all that of ego, then we're just gonna have to keep coming back and learning these spiritual lessons until we free ourselves from that and we can enter serenity. [00:09:58.690] - Marco Maisto So it is not about nothing mattering. [00:10:03.580] - Stephanie Wild It's about changing our perspective on our own, our experience. [00:10:08.440] - Marco Maisto Right. Yeah. The law of cause and effect karma, if you like. I was gonna say, you know, I think in a future episode, it's a shout out to a friend of mine by the name Caroline, who knows more about Zen than I do. I would love to have her call in for an episode and sort of break down some of these things in those terms. I don't have to shoot from the hip all the time or just to share her thoughts. [00:10:33.100] - Stephanie Wild That said, I'm talking to you, see. And yeah, the law of cause and effect, of course. [00:10:41.530] - Marco Maisto And living in fear is a a guaranteed way to make it so that you don't know how to love anything, isn't it. [00:10:49.330] - Stephanie Wild Yeah. Fear and love. Those are the only two things. That's the only place we have free will so we can choose love. Or we can choose fear at any moment. That's that's all that we can do. And that's what determines what happens next. [00:11:04.450] Can you stand up? And when you say it's the only two things we can choose. [00:11:08.690] The only freewill we have to choose between love and fear in any moment in. Oh, and how we approach this situation. Yeah. [00:11:15.350] Yeah. Mm hmm. This this lesson really makes me. It it hits home again about how important it is to recognize that these are meant to be done. [00:11:30.620] Kind of like a on a on a one day and then move on to the next one. Oh yeah. Because well, because I think sitting around Internet deeply dive into this to write a note to take, to try to write, to try to go too deep into just this, which I mean it's based on this. [00:11:48.800] It's based on this statement that is not substantiated. It's a thing where it has to be. Yeah, exactly. [00:11:56.750] And the case value for now under AB. So that's absolutely correct. Your text does say that, you know, you'll you'll you'll meet resistance. [00:12:03.770] You'll try to decide what's true, what's not. Don't worry about it. Just just do it and see how you feel. [00:12:10.890] Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. [00:12:13.310] And no, no more than three practice periods with today's idea unless you find them comfortable. So if you're feeling like, oh yeah, this is taking me to Serenity, then yeah, you can keep doing it. [00:12:26.120] So there's a therapeutic something in. Well. Well yeah. [00:12:31.070] So we're moving towards. Absolutely. Absolutely. And I think if you get up to this point in this lesson 14 and you stop there. I don't recommend stopping. [00:12:41.720] But if you do, you kind of got you kind of got it. You know, you've got it. The world doesn't exist. We make it. Let's unmake it by changing our perspective and enter into the experience of of serenity. [00:12:53.750] And in fact, the text calls it salvation. This is the second coming of Christ. He's not going to fall down out of the sky. [00:13:03.110] This is that is the Bible discussed? Yeah, great. He's gonna. I mean, he doesn't he's not doing anything. We didn't exist anyway. [00:13:12.830] But we are going to be reborn with this new perspective. Right. So we're gonna we're gonna leave the our bodies, which are illusions behind. [00:13:23.120] We're going to leave all of the war and the terror and the evil, all of this nasty stuff behind because it doesn't exist and we can be reborn with into true love, true perception and just experience of bliss. [00:13:41.960] What's the moment in your recovery or post recovery where you kind of tangibly felt a feeling of rebirth that could have been or or the rearranging of perception that could be associated with this lesson? Are you thinking. Do you have. No, this is not a loaded question. Matthew, you can think of like any particular moment, you're like where it was like you let out a deep breath. You're like, ha, OK. [00:14:17.090] Well, I think when I first realized you really understood that I didn't have to drink. I mean, in that moment, I did not have to do that. [00:14:28.940] That was all just my own illusion. That was all just my own thinking. [00:14:32.150] And at that, I'd created this this belief system for myself that that I had to drink. And and and all of a sudden I realized I didn't. That wasn't true. Yeah. And I felt completely free. [00:14:51.080] You didn't say that. That statement. You know, in I've heard that saying before and it's a little open ended, right, because I don't have to drink. And it almost begs the question in order to blank. Right. [00:15:02.690] In order to get through the day, whatever you want. Yes. What was what did it mean to me? Yeah. [00:15:07.120] The beliefs that I that I built up around it to be a grown up kids are meant to be an adult. You know, like grownups drink. You go out to some party and you and you have to drink. You go out to dinner and you have to drink. [00:15:20.910] You know, it was all this Grown-Up stuff that was that was. [00:15:26.480] I remember thinking that years and years and years ago, that's something that I absolutely believe. I never questioned it. Interesting. You know, I guess I had I mean, I have I have others that I could think of. But to riff on that, I for a long time when I was like really, really trying to chase after when I was getting sober, what was it? [00:15:54.600] I entertained a fantasy of a. [00:15:58.920] And it's great because the image of this fantasy is so on this like even without the alcohol in this scene I'm about to describe, this scene would never happen. It was like it was like being on some sort of Yop sunset somewhere. [00:16:14.400] Yeah. [00:16:15.290] And and enjoying like, I don't know, single malt whiskey was right. Beautiful woman. [00:16:22.250] Well, it's in the end that's what they sell. You're right. That's what they sell us. Okay. That's a good point. But yeah. [00:16:27.830] Oh, we believe it. You know, we believe it. And then they sell it back to us kind of thing. I had a similar one one day. [00:16:34.970] That will be fine. Yeah. [00:16:36.590] Yeah. One day. Yeah. I had a similar one. Oh God. What's that movie. The what. [00:16:41.840] They remade it. And it had Pierce Brosnan in it. And Rene Russo he said. [00:16:49.580] And I know it's not this but. So when a man loves a woman. No, no, no. That was Andy Garcia and Meg Ryan. You know, this is where he's the art safe. [00:17:01.700] Oh, right. Yeah. What was that? [00:17:04.050] I know someone will know. Email us. Plays miracles in Manhattan at G-mail dot com. Yes. And I remember this scene on the court. I think I've mentioned this scene before in this podcast. [00:17:14.210] Really, though? Yeah, we may have we may have lost that one. Right. I've crashed. [00:17:18.190] But but those two characters. See, she's supposed to be Chase. She's supposed to be getting this art thief and he's seducing her, you know, and convincing her not to run away with him and not to turn him in. [00:17:33.710] And they're sitting at his luxurious hideaway and he's burning masterpieces of Osh and they're drinking red wine. [00:17:46.010] And that's my equivalent of what you just as I want your equivalent. [00:17:50.210] Bear in mind. I think I was also in the body of Burt Lancaster or someone like that. Well, yeah, I was in Rene Russo. Yeah, buddy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. [00:17:59.360] I was told there for sure. [00:18:03.980] Or actually not in her body but in her body doubles body weight. Right. Okay. [00:18:09.500] Hey Mel. Yeah. Right. [00:18:12.170] Okay. Neat. So I ask you that. I wonder. Well, because I think we're talking about the beliefs are rare that we no longer need to believe in order to be happy. [00:18:21.590] Yeah. The beliefs that that bring you peace or the beliefs that. Yeah. They get you closer to away from assumptions and illusions and closer to just kind of living what you love. [00:18:34.670] Yeah. [00:18:35.030] So you know the boat and the single malt and the red wine and burning masterpieces, you know, is not in fact going to bring us closer to serenity. [00:18:46.980] Yeah. It's just not right. This stuff is changing our perspective. [00:18:54.260] Interesting. [00:18:55.340] I'm starting to think now that that one of the reasons we talk a lot about relationships on the show, sex and stuff like that, is that is that that is maybe like a sort of second was maybe for me a second act of coming to realize that what assumptions I'd made about how to relate to other people were not written in stone and things like that. Yeah. Yeah. We should think about what I mean by that. I'm saying like there I think for a long time I operated under the position of like this is what it means to be a boyfriend or husband or this or that. [00:19:33.190] No, that's absolutely true. So and and we learn those from the tribe. Right. The conventions of the culture that we live in. And that's my what's my second book is about the art of romance. [00:19:45.150] And I was going to give you an alley. You on that? Well, I mean. Yeah. The art of romance. Oh, with a forward by yours truly. Oh, that's right. Yes. [00:19:59.020] That is a really great forge. It's really nice, isn't it? I love reading that. [00:20:04.290] So, yeah. And the other thing, the other reason why we talk about relationships and sex and all that so much here is because we learned through relationships, that's how we learn these spiritual lessons. [00:20:15.820] We're here as different parts of ourselves to teach each other, teach ourselves how to throw off these illusions. [00:20:27.460] Yeah. You know, and maybe we don't want to speak too soon because maybe for somebody who is suffering the pain of a breakup or something like that. [00:20:37.390] You know, I think maybe I've sort of harbored a thought like the one you just articulated without having the word thought. [00:20:43.920] But, you know, in a more I don't mean this in a in a astrological kind of way, but in a more cosmic from a more cosmic point of view or a far removed point of view, you couldn't you could say something about relationships being, you know, that the the the proving ground or that the the the laboratory of becoming a better person. Adam Lutely. [00:21:16.180] Absolutely. And and and the sooner we accept that there is only one of us in this room, the sooner we will behave with compassion. [00:21:30.610] OK. Wait a minute. There's only one of us in this room. [00:21:34.840] Yeah, because bodies are an illusion. Separation is an illusion. [00:21:38.650] Oh, I see. [00:21:41.360] I don't know why I assumed you meant it was, you know. But I am not God. I know. [00:21:49.350] I know. That's true. It was more just like him. OK. [00:21:53.980] Yeah, for sure. Like the graveyard of of failed romance. [00:22:00.940] Romance, I guess is the word that I that I should use is more of a garden in that way. It absolutely is. [00:22:07.480] And we are moving towards the point where sorrow and. Happiness. Ah, the same thing. Neither, neither. Sorry. Doesn't hurt us. [00:22:21.610] We can just observe it and say, well, that's chemical that's made up of thoughts that doesn't exist to Simon's excitement, happiness, anticipation and what we what we call in Western thought positive and negative emotions. [00:22:36.720] Right. Yeah. That's I mean, that's a tall order, but certainly that's what this is. Oh, that's a lame duck. Yeah. What do you think? [00:22:43.450] That a person, our hero, if you will, who is suffering from a breakup or something like that right now is is saying to themself, instead of this is chemical. [00:22:56.620] This is a thought thing. [00:23:00.950] What if they're black, but they're blaming the other person for hurting them? If he didn't do that, I wouldn't be in this pain. [00:23:09.100] Or if I was more lovable, I wouldn't be in this pain. Yep. Yeah. So, yeah, it's some. And, you know, you can't just jump straight to that. [00:23:22.700] That's why these exercises are here. [00:23:25.560] Sure. Because we move incrementally and we feel that it's true. [00:23:32.030] We get a little happier, a little happier day by day by day when we get to the point where we understand that it's not someone else causing us pain and it's not because we are defective in some way. [00:23:45.650] Sure. Sure. I bring up sometimes the you know, I get a little bit ahead of things to project a solution down the road, largely so that people don't jump over to another podcast. [00:24:00.530] You know, listen to episodes later on. We want them to stay on this. [00:24:05.000] Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And we want to we and I mean, this is where the point of it is happiness. And that's why we are where we are going. [00:24:12.440] And, you know. So. Yeah. Know that. And that's and it's normal to to to wonder and to want an answer. [00:24:20.180] And, you know, that's our ego. But. But that's the human condition. So. Yeah, that's that's fine. OK, so. And by the way, yeah, I did get a message from a listener that they like your banter. [00:24:40.650] They like your side. That's not when you sent me, though, is it? I don't know. But anyway, we did get that, so don't worry. [00:24:51.370] I'm not worried about that anymore. No, I'm. I am. I am who I am. [00:25:01.980] Sorry. Yeah. [00:25:05.940] Now, you sent me a screengrab of a something from a listener who said Marco is about to launch into some sort of explanation. And then you just said this. Oh, yeah. No, that was different. [00:25:18.030] Yeah. That's good. That's good. [00:25:21.600] Great. Great. Yeah. [00:25:22.820] And I feel yeah, I feel very comfortable with the way you make putting me on the spot here. There's a one of us. [00:25:29.700] I think that, you know, there was a moment of silence there and I had to fill it. [00:25:36.330] It was my Instagram. Yeah. Oh my God. No, no, that's fine. That's fine. [00:25:40.830] This is this is a it just seems like a very serious episode. It does, doesn't it? And but I guess it is. I mean, it is all about salvation that this is it. I suppose. But you know what? Doesn't have to be serious. You know, why can't it be right? [00:25:53.220] I mean, I know you've got Christ trawling with Buddy Holly from an airplane to earth. And I introduced the idea of the graveyard of lost love affairs. [00:26:06.940] But what this means is that we can be free from all of that angst and we can just enjoy sex and cheesecake shit. Because. [00:26:15.720] Yeah, that's one of the I that's one of the the sort of truisms that you believe that it was something you told me early on. [00:26:25.290] Yeah. Well one of my teachers says it that way. Yeah. [00:26:28.830] Oh this was the other question I was gonna ask because I see what I see how this got a little dark. Okay. Yeah. [00:26:34.680] Because I was gonna for some reason I thought you're gonna have a quippy answer to my recovery question. And then I was going to launch it to what's the worst subway ride you've ever been on? [00:26:43.830] Oh, the worst of what you describe like the moment where everything was peak shit. [00:26:50.900] I was in a very crowded subway car and I couldn't move and so one was feeling me up. [00:27:03.690] OK. Yeah. Move. Couldn't get away. [00:27:07.100] Well, thanks for keeping it light stuff. No, just junk. Really. And truly junk. Of course, that's going to be a woman's experience. Yeah. Yeah, it's sort of. You know, I feel like New York City in the 70s. Same situation, perhaps more perilous, but the subway car is empty or more empty. Yeah. [00:27:28.420] Yeah, that's the other nightmare when it's sushi like the middle of the night and. Yeah. Yeah. But you know, in much the time when I was on the subway, an empty subway, an empty ish. Well I mean it's more terrifying when there's just one other person in there. [00:27:45.580] I was completely wasted so I didn't really sense any danger. [00:27:49.480] Was this on your great a train trip around the city. Probably. And see, it wasn't just one trip either. Oh, God. Yeah. That happened a lot. [00:27:58.650] Right. Let's see. In terms of sinister experiences, which is not really what I was after, but you brought it there. [00:28:07.960] They all seem to involve a largely empty subway car. [00:28:11.830] Yeah. And then someone either already has on or more disturbingly, gets puts a mask on. Oh, well now that's happened a lot to me and I'm real walking. [00:28:23.650] Yeah, that has never happened to me. You know what? [00:28:27.040] It's you don't need it. They held it there. [00:28:29.980] I mean, like so most general example, it was it was recently and it was like close enough to Halloween that like some kid was sort of just still wearing his his non monster Halloween mask, which makes it much worse. [00:28:43.600] Yeah. [00:28:44.350] It was just like sort of feel like a like a like a yellow rubber head. [00:28:49.370] Oh. And he. And he was doing these convulsions. And then I realized he's just listening to music. Yeah. But, you know, so there's that. [00:29:00.010] And then there and then other times, like I've been on a crowded train where somebody just reached into a bag and put on Blake, you name it. On one occasion, a gas mask. [00:29:14.620] That's not cool. Lord on a Morse. [00:29:17.350] In a more strange turn of events in the heat of the summer on the train to Brooklyn. Course dude reaches into his bag and puts on a paintball man. [00:29:30.220] I don't know why he just wanted a rocket just getting prepared. [00:29:33.870] I guess I feel like it would have been fine if people had broken out on that train. But yeah. Masonite cool to wear on the subway. So what's all this got to do with anything? [00:29:44.050] How do you. Oh, yeah. So Kate actually has to be a little bit more about the crowded type example. So how do you find in a moment like that? [00:29:52.330] How does the thought God didn't make this happen to help you through it? [00:29:58.100] Well, let me think, because I didn't know any of this. Then you can think. So if it happened now, what do you do? [00:30:05.830] You can help. I can do what you want. [00:30:07.720] It sounded like you needed to think. Yeah, well, I can provide one more subway example. Okay. Go ahead. This one has me being less panicky. [00:30:16.720] It was late, relatively empty subway and a woman sitting across from me was with some friends and stuff. [00:30:27.100] So it wasn't like a worry. But she, uh, she was definitely wasted. And she did that. She did this thing. But like I seen way too many times in the subway where you think someone is sort of sleeping. And so they're bobbing and weaving with emotional as far as me. And then they just sort of tip an extra inch forward and vomit in. [00:30:46.800] Oh, in their lap. No, I didn't do that. [00:30:49.210] I used to vomit in my bag. At least I was that aware. [00:30:51.790] Yeah. No, no. And lap and then the floor. [00:30:54.460] And I was sitting directly across Schumer and I didn't move now and I wasn't interested in like being there. And so I was also like, I've never done this before. [00:31:05.740] So I just hung out for the next 10 stops and, you know, played Angry Birds or some shit. [00:31:13.020] Yeah. I mean, that's very New York too isn't. It's just like that. I mean, yeah, we can detect we do learn to detach don't we. [00:31:20.530] In New York. Yeah. I mean I knew be healthy or unhealthy I suppose. [00:31:24.970] But yeah we do. We do learn to do that. Yeah. So how to deal with getting felt up in the subway when you can't live. Well I was kind of I was hoping to avoid this answer because it really is one of the answers that people get very angry about. [00:31:43.870] Because it seems to put the responsibility on what's happening on the victim victim blaming. [00:31:52.080] But, you know, let's just see what happens here as I as I talk and think it through. [00:31:58.240] So so. No one's doing it to me, right? It doesn't exist because my body doesn't exist. And the subway doesn't exist. And none of it exists. It's all in thought. It's all. Thought form. It just seems real. And so this helps me not get it ingrained into my subconscious so that I don't get traumatized, so that I don't have to step out of the subway and replay it and replay it and replay it and get angry and fearful and mad and then look at every other man who's ever gonna step near me and. [00:32:33.670] Right. Right. [00:32:34.930] It frees me from that. [00:32:38.080] Now, you know, if you if you go and say that to someone and there and there and they're right in the middle of of the trauma like I was at the time, because I'd been abused as it as a child, it does seem to be victim blaming. [00:32:56.110] So you just can't go from A to Z. You know, you have to go through. [00:32:59.910] Oh, you don't have to. But most people need to go through the process of this court. These kinds of exercises. Sure. [00:33:10.600] And you tell me if I'm wrong on this, by the way. I think we should release a companion episode to this one where I say all those things instead of you and just see which gets more clicks. Okay. No, we won't do that because I value my everything. [00:33:30.730] So I it sounded to me that I cannot imagine. I certainly can't fully empathize with that experience. Right. I can I can make analogies. That's that's about as close as I get. [00:33:44.890] But I don't I don't imagine that. I mean, yeah, there is a guy grabbing on you. That's that's a fact. That's material fact. [00:33:55.330] And and it seems to be. Yeah. Or seems to be. Yeah. [00:33:59.350] I mean not in the level of form. Yes. And the level of form. [00:34:02.720] Right. I mean like just to keep this a little bit away from what solves this too. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And to because I think what I'm trying to say because what I think. [00:34:12.070] Cause all those things transpired. [00:34:15.220] But the question it seems to me like what you're saying is you then are empowered to. Be the agent or the art or the author of how they inscribed themselves or don't hit upon. Yes, precisely. Right. [00:34:30.720] So you want to deny the fact that some dude felt you were right. [00:34:34.110] Right. Because he's laughs actually causes the trauma is the belief that follows. [00:34:40.080] Oh, I'm dirty, shameful in that. And that's all part of society in women's oppression and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. All of that stuff. So it's not what actually happens that causes the suffering. It's the belief that follows. So what you say is precisely true. [00:34:58.510] Yeah. Yeah. I think in a in an example like the one he gave, that's probably pretty accurate. Yeah. [00:35:03.040] And I mean, you know, if I could have I could've turned around, elbowed him or whatever and you know that that's fine too as long as I do it with love. [00:35:09.690] Right. Right. I love you and you need to learn this lesson. Yeah. I'm going to obey you in the fire in the head. And I don't do that again. You know, I'm doing a service to my sisters. As long as I do that with love and not hatred. [00:35:23.100] Yeah. Okay. Talk to a Shaalan monk. They can help you with that. Yeah. Okay. [00:35:30.780] So anything else, too? Anything else? No, nothing more. But yeah, I think we're good. [00:35:37.740] I think we're going on that. But say something awesome. There will be editing on this. Just a little bit. No, I guess you know what? I was I was looking for some some kind of pretty bow to tie around this. [00:35:52.590] And I think that if this is a module or lesson, I've become sort of prickly about the word lesson for some reason. It speaks volumes about me personally. [00:36:03.090] Yeah, I know. Exercise. You know. On this little exercise because. Yeah. Yeah. We I think it's fine to be prickly but isn't because cause you know you want to be lecturing in tone. You have to do it Texas. Try this, try this little exercise you know and and people get caught up in like oh I have to do them all in order and I have to do them one a day and I have to do it right. [00:36:27.330] No, no, you don't. No, no, no, you don't. Just try them out. See how it makes you feel. You know, this is a suggested order. [00:36:37.350] But if you've come to understand parts of this, you know, series already, you know, you you know, you'll be able to skip around or stick to one a little bit longer or, you know, it's not it doesn't have to be linear. [00:36:54.300] It's set out this way. It's convenient. But yeah, it's it we don't want to give that impression. No, no. [00:37:00.230] Yeah. I mean, lessons. Examiner What would you say? Exercises. Brain traps. [00:37:05.910] Yeah, whatever you like. Okay, cool. Wow. I interrupted myself, which is probably for the better part. Yeah. Yeah, I think I was I was part of me was searching for a a something to tie this together conveniently. [00:37:22.650] And I think that if this is a brain trap exercise that is really clearing the deck, I'm sort of savage that it's it's fair not to expect that that there will be a clean resolution coming out of this, because like you said, this is a this is a pivotal year in the book. I don't know. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. We'll we'll make this pretty. We'll make this one pretty. Right. Okay. No problem. All right. [00:37:54.780] We got a lot of this. A lot of good in there. Let me get in there system. That was tough. Sometimes things are tough. What's next? My thoughts are...