About

Growing up, I never thought of myself as being overweight until someone called me “Fatty”.  Once that happened, my whole perspective changed.  I was very self-conscious about how I looked and what I wore.  As a teenager, I wore shirts that hung loose and jeans.  Nothing I owned fit tight, was ever tucked in or belted.  As I started high school, my clothes became darker and the funny thing is I probably weighed 150 pounds which is where I’m trying to get now.  My clothes were always solid no prints and never any stripes.  My clothes were dark blue or black.  Sometimes I would have a white sweater or a white peasant shirt, but that was very seldom.As I started to lose weight and to drop sizes in clothes, I started venturing to other colors. Colors like Army green, light brown, dark red and a couple of white shirts.  The other day at Wally World I was looking for some extra summer shirts.  Before the weight loss started I bought shirts that were 3x and 4x and was happy when I got down to a 2x, but not I’m in larges and mediums and they look so tiny.  I’m the smallest I have been since 1982.  I still see myself as a 300lb person.  Being overweight is not just physical.  It is emotional and mental.  Some people that are overweight walk like an obese person.  They walk heavy or sitting down heavy if that makes any sense.  But I was never like that and my arms were never big.  Some people that are overweight are not always overweight all over.  I don’t know that even if I weighed 125 if I would see myself any different.  The last time I weighed 125 I was a sophomore in high school and my hip bones were they only thing that held my jeans up.  I know this won’t make any sense to a person who has never experienced being overweight.  There are some people that are overweight and it doesn’t bother them.  They wear tight clothes and two piece bathing suits and never even blink an eye.  I was never able to do that and I still don’t wear a bikini.  I wear a two piece but it has a long top. To me that means they are comfortable with their bodies and I am not and not sure I will ever be.  I still do not look in a mirror at myself and I don’t walk around naked even in front of my husband.  I know that some of this sounds silly, but for me, it is a matter of not wanting to be noticed.  A lot of people gain weight to keep attention away from them.  Sometimes that works and sometimes it doesn’t.  I think I continue to gain weight because of being molested.  That way I didn’t draw attention to myself.  This is something I continually fight. Buzzsprout - Let's get your podcast launched! Start for FREEWorld Pet Travel - We Can Move Your Pets It is not as easy as you may think to move your furry children to a new country or across country. Disclaimer: This post contains affiliate links. If you make a purchase, I may receive a commission at no extra cost to you.Support the show (https://www.buymeacoffee.com/lsfarnsworth29)