In this Q&A episode (the first ever on Get Sex-Smart!), Valeria and Sarah are answering your sex and relationship questions. Here's a timeline, should you like to jump to a specific one:  3:12 How do I figure out what my partner's fetish is? 9:10 My significant other wants to have the passwords for my phone and computer. Do I share my passwords or not? 15:30 My boyfriend insists on anal sex, but I don't want to have anal. What should I do? 27:05 Are dating apps ruining dating and relationships?

Get Sex-Smart

E102: Q&A: Fetish Convo, Sharing Passwords, Unwanted Anal, and Dating Apps

Get Sex-Smart is back! After a few months' hiatus, Valeria and Sarah have returned with a new format, new ideas, and new sex-smart episodes! Tune into this short announcement episode to hear why we took some time off, what we've been up to, and how Get Sex-Smart is changing - hopefully for the better. And make sure to tune in on August 15th when our new season will return full force!

E101: Announcing Our New Season!

Today, Dr. Valeria and Sarah Martin are celebrating the past 99 episodes of Get Sex-Smart. In this more informal and intimate episode, we talk about how the show got started, what we love about it and maybe not so much, our favorite episodes, some personal stories - and a few rounds of a sex-themed game of "Would You Rather".

E100: Celebrating Our 100th Episode

Get Sex-Smart is back after a holiday break! Today, Dr. Valeria and Sarah Martin talk about five ways to spice up and add fun and new levels of pleasure and intimacy to a relationship that has gotten a bit predictable and stale. Ideas include touch games, playacting fantasy scenarios, and much more!

E99: Five Fun Ways to Spice Up Your Sex Life

Recent studies show that there is a big orgasm gap between men in women: roughly 65% of heterosexual women orgasm in partner sex, compared to an overwhelming 95% of heterosexual men. What's really interesting though is that lesbian women's orgasm rates are very close to those of heterosexual men at 85%. On today's episode, Dr. Valeria and sex coach Sarah Martin talk about some of the reasons why orgasm rates are so much higher in lesbian women, and what contributes to their superior sexual satisfaction compared to heterosexual women.  EPISODE NOTES: Guardian article, "Do Lesbians Have Better Sex Than Straight Women?" https://www.google.com/amp/s/amp.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2018/jul/09/do-lesbians-have-better-sex-than-straight-women

E98: Lesbian and Straight Women - Who Has Better Sex, and Why?

Breakups are often painful, heartbreaking, and difficult to navigate. In this episode, Sarah Martin shares her recent personal experience of breakup and chats with Dr. Valeria about the newest science of breakups; why we are often so bad at breaking up; and what we can do to reduce the pain of ending our relationships.  EPISODE NOTES: Break up as a signifiant stress event, and "broken heart" syndrome: <a href= "https://www.nbcnews.com/think/opinion/can-you-die-broken-heart-science-proves-broken-heart-syndrome-ncna847831" target="_blank" rel="noopener" data-saferedirecturl= "https://www.google.com/url?q=https://www.nbcnews.com/think/opinion/can-you-die-broken-heart-science-proves-broken-heart-syndrome-ncna847831&source=gmail&ust=1540597252335000&usg=AFQjCNGH-L8gjHossD7nvScooH0hSNdRPA">https://www.nbcnews.com/think/opinion/can-you-die-broken-heart-science-proves-broken-heart-syndrome-ncna847831</a>

E97: Breaking Up: Why It's Hard, and How to Make It Better

In contrast to popular opinion, low libido and decreased sexual desire in men are actually very common. Many men struggle with the effects that loss of libido has on their self-esteem and relationships. In this episode, Dr. Valeria and sex coach Sarah Martin talk about the causes of low libido in men, how it affects men, and what can help.

E 96: Low Libido in Men: Why It Happens and What Can Help

In today's episode, Dr. Valeria and Sarah Martin break down the groundbreaking concept of arousal non-concordance. Simply put, our physical (genital) arousal doesn't always match our psychological arousal. This dramatically changes the way we view sexual desire, pleasure and consent. Tune in to learn why arousal non-concordance is important, and how it can change your sex life.   EPISODE NOTES: Emily Nagoski's Ted Talk, "The Truth About Unwanted Arousal" (a must wath!) https://www.ted.com/talks/emily_nagoski_the_truth_about_unwanted_arousal?language=en

E95: Arousal Non-Concordance: How It Can Change Your Sex Life

Get Sex-Smart is back from the summer break! In today's episode, Dr. Valeria and Sarah Martin chat about high libido women. Conventional thinking tells us that men tend to be more interested in sex than women and that women with high libidos are rare. But how true is that? And, while many men say that they would love for their female partner to be more sexually assertive, what actually happens when a woman wants sex more than her male partner? We answer these questions and more in this episode.  EPISODE NOTES: Come As You Are by Emily Nagoski: https://amzn.to/2PGjmbA <h1 id="title" class="a-size-large a-spacing-none"> </h1>

E94: High Libido Women: Why It's Hard to Be a Woman Who Loves Sex

One of the questions we get asked most often is how much sex it's "normal" to have. Today, Dr. Valeria and Sarah Martin answer the question of what is normal sexual frequency. We also share our tips on how to tell whether you're having the right amount of sex; why you may not be satisfied about your sexual frequency; and how to be more satisfied with the amount of sex you're having.

E93: Sexual Frequency: How Much Sex Should We Be Having?

In this episode, Dr. Valeria and sex coach Sarah Martin take a look at the concept of "sexual scarcity" or lack of sex, and the idea of the right to sex (or as some would call it, sexual entitlement). Tune in to find out how the sexual scarcity mindset affects our intimate relationships and sexual satisfaction, and how we can positively address the real feelings of frustration, sexual shame and disconnect that are the driving force behind this mindset.  EPISODE NOTES: Amia Srinivasan's essay in London Review of Books: https://www.lrb.co.uk/v40/n06/amia-srinivasan/does-anyone-have-the-right-to-sex

E92: Is Sexual Scarcity Real & Do We Have the Right to Sex?

Today, Dr. Valeria and Sarah Martin are sharing their expert tips that will help take your masturbation practice from merely good to amazing. But that's not all! In today's fun bonus feature, Dr. Valeria and Sarah play a rousing round of sexual "Would You Rather" - with pretty hilarious and unexpected results. Make sure to stick around after the main discussion of masturbation is wrapped up, both to learn a fun and sexy game and to get up close and personal with your podcast hosts! If you want to jump directly to the fun bonus content, it starts around the 40 minute mark.  EPISODE NOTES: Sarah's featured interviews: BBC World https://www.bbc.com/news/world-44041947 The Guardian <a href= "https://www.google.com/amp/s/amp.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2018/jun/19/multiple-orgasm-clitoris-science-research" target="_blank" rel="noopener" data-saferedirecturl= "https://www.google.com/url?q=https://www.google.com/amp/s/amp.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2018/jun/19/multiple-orgasm-clitoris-science-research&source=gmail&ust=1530327201153000&usg=AFQjCNF3MrSnj_eF2EKoPgHo1SieLUXh6g">https://www.google.com/amp/s/amp.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2018/jun/19/multiple-orgasm-clitoris-science-research</a> Dr. Valeria's featured print and video interview in Psychotherapy Networker: <a href= "https://psychotherapynetworker.org/magazine/article/1159/silent-and-confused/00000000-0000-0000-0000-000000000000" target="_blank" rel="noopener" data-saferedirecturl= "https://www.google.com/url?q=https://psychotherapynetworker.org/magazine/article/1159/silent-and-confused/00000000-0000-0000-0000-000000000000&source=gmail&ust=1530334943316000&usg=AFQjCNGcDiDlTpPanJithR81nyrIsGfuRg">https://psychotherapynetworker.org/magazine/article/1159/silent-and-confused/00000000-0000-0000-0000-000000000000</a> Dr. Valeria's article in Business Insider: <a href= "http://www.businessinsider.com/how-men-react-to-sexual-harassment-claims-according-to-intimacy-coach-2017-11">http://www.businessinsider.com/how-men-react-to-sexual-harassment-claims-according-to-intimacy-coach-2017-11</a>

E91: Pro Tips for Awesome Masturbation ** Featuring Fun Bonus Content!

In today's episode, Dr. Valeria is interviewing therapist, researcher, author and kink sex educator Galen Fous. Galen shares his 5 keys to exploring our personal kinks and to successfully integrating them into our sex lives. We also discuss sexual shame, the challenges of sexual incompatibility between partners, the need for more sexual and kink education for therapists, and more. An in-depth and fascinating interview! EPISODE NOTES: Galen Fous' website: <a href= "https://galenfous.com/">https://galenfous.com/</a> Personal Erotic Myth survey: <a href= "https://galenfous.com/pem/">https://galenfous.com/pem/</a> Galen's book, Decoding Your Kink: https://www.amazon.com/Decoding-Your-Kink-Explore-Wildest-ebook/dp/B017CKIIAE/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1528996097&sr=8-1&keywords=galen+fous

E90: How to Explore and Integrate Kink Into Your Sex Life

When it comes to sex, most of us have a past, along with some secrets and information that we keep private. But with relationships comes an expectation of sharing. So, what exactly should you be sharing with your partners, and how much? In this episode, Dr. Valeria and sex coach Sarah Martin talk about what is reasonable to keep to yourself and what should be revealed in sexual relationships. Specifically, they discuss what to reveal and what to keep private about your sexual health; sexual history, number of partners, and past sexual behavior; history of infidelity and expectations of monogamy; masturbation and porn viewing habits; sexual fantasies; and past sexual trauma and abuse.  <div dir="auto"> </div>

E89: Secrets vs Privacy: What Info Should You Share With Your Sexual Partners?

Unsolicited "dick pics" have become ubiquitous in popular culture. Pretty much any woman who tries online dating inevitably ends up receiving her share of unwanted images of men's genitalia. So, why are men so keen on sharing photos of their penises with unsuspecting women? In this episode of the Get Sex-Smart podcast, Dr. Valeria and sex coach Sarah Martin discuss the most common reasons why men like to send dick pics, and the pros and cons of doing so in dating situations. EPISODE NOTES <a href= "https://www.refinery29.com/why-men-send-nude-dick-pictures">https://www.refinery29.com/why-men-send-nude-dick-pictures</a> <a href= "https://www.thrillist.com/sex-dating/los-angeles/we-sent-a-preemptive-v-pic-before-dudes-could-send-dick-pics-heres-what-happened"> https://www.thrillist.com/sex-dating/los-angeles/we-sent-a-preemptive-v-pic-before-dudes-could-send-dick-pics-heres-what-happened</a> <a href= "http://www.dazeddigital.com/artsandculture/article/30873/1/the-woman-turning-unsolicited-dick-pics-into-art"> http://www.dazeddigital.com/artsandculture/article/30873/1/the-woman-turning-unsolicited-dick-pics-into-art</a>

E88: Unsolicited "Dick Pics": Why Do Men Send Them?

Are you looking to improve your sex life and relationships and explore your sexuality? With compassion and humor, Get Sex-Smart offers real, practical and positive information to help you reclaim your sexual pleasure and confidence. Hosted by Dr. Valeria Chuba, Clinical Sexologist and Sex & Relationship Coach.