Because I am spoiled, I occasionally go on cruises. Because I am an ungrateful, whiny bitch, I complain about them. Because I am easily distracted, I ...

In this extremely delayed episode, I forbid people from doing things. On an unrelated note, please let me know if you have a better idea for how I sho...

Once upon a time, children’s television didn’t suck. I’m not really sure what happened between then and now. All I know is that my brother Abe and I a...

If you somehow don’t already know, believe me when I tell you that food, while tasty, is a huge pain in the ass. Popcorn in particular can fuck right ...

This marks the beginning of my systematic rejection of all modes of transportation. I probably won’t follow through with that, but that’s not the poin...

In this much-delayed episode of It Burns, I tell you that Apple sucks. So great is my hatred for Apple that it took almost sixteen minutes to get me t...

Did you know that the anesthetics your doctor gives you can actually result in your death? What about the unclean nature of soap? Find out this and mo...

In today’s lesson, I enumerate the perils of billboards and packaging.

Well, here it is. The beginning of It Burns.