Richard Eadington, a Wildlife Ranger with Forestry and Land Scotland, speaks to Bridget Holtom about an accident while on a Mountain Rescue mission. Richard shares his story about his physical injuries and the mental ill-health in the year that followed. He speaks of his fear of having his rifle and firearms licence removed, of 'flirting with suicide', and his gratitude for the support he received from friends, family and the care from the NHS. His words of advice to people in similar situations: 'don't be afraid to ask for help, to go for counselling', it can and will save lives.

Landscapes of the Mind

Richard: An Accident in the Hills

What does a panic attack feel like? What stops us telling the truth? What are the true costs of silence? After 30 years of military service, Colin prepared a presentation for his peers about a weapon's system he knew inside out. As he was about to walk into the room he collapsed. Clutching his heart and feeling searing pains down his arm, he assumed he was suffering from a heart attack and treated it as such. After the doctor told him that he was having a panic attack, not a heart attack, his life was never the same again. Before then, Colin would have been the first person to say you were 'weak' or a 'wuss' for showing signs of vulnerability. In the army, that so-called weakness could cost you your life, or the lives of your colleagues. If you saw cracks in the armour of your army colleagues you couldn't trust them in a crisis. Colin was so ashamed that it was a 'mental' not 'physical' illness he was suffering from, that he never told his colleagues, friends or family. Instead he suffered in silence, trying to maintain the reputation he had worked hard to secure. Now though, his journey of recovery and self-discovery has helped him to see the true cost of silence. He is starting to see how his silence, his shame, or internalised stigma, feeds the stigma that stopped him speaking out in the first place. He wants to have the brave conversations that can truly save lives. It takes a different kind of courage, but he has these brave conversations in the men's groups he runs with old friends from the army. Here, he bravely shares his story for the first time... 

Armed Against Anxiety

How do we stay sane in a society that is sick? How do we work in a world that doesn't work? Join us for short journeys through the landscapes of the minds of others. Each episode is a glimpse into how shame and stigma cost lives and how to come alive.

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Richard: An Accident in the Hills

Armed Against Anxiety