A likely candidate for favorite movie ever when you were 8 years old, this classic episode features the live action Disney superhero movie that lead the way to the MCU (no, no it did not). Condorman stars Michael Crawford, Oliver Reed, Barbara Carrera and James Hampton. Enjoy!

Stinker Madness - The Bad Movie Podcast

Condorman - Stinker Madness Rerun

The faerie folk who may or may not be all leprechauns have been living peacefully in the center of earth (or Middle Earth as some may call it) while a smug little kid who needs to be punted says he wants to team up with them but ends up shooting all of them. Get to the Time Portal, Uter! Artermis Fowl is a giant piece of crap. With or without, the departures from the book series, this is a giant piece of crap. It's bad from top to bottom. Every single person failed at their job (with the exception of Colin Farrell who doesn't have time to screw it up). From the effects, to the writing, to the directing, to the editing, to the acting, to the sound design, to the props department. Failure. I'm surprised this team isn't in charge of the Covid-19 response. Yikes. The plot doesn't exist. This is what Sam calls "table-setting" for the later films that won't ever come because of how awful this crap is. Literally nothing happens here. We're not even sure where the climax is. Hell we're not even sure when the movie starts. It's unfathomable. Then there's the casting/acting. The kid is awful. He's a kid so we can't pick on his skills too much and I'm sure he was just doing what he was told to do but hey, so did the guards at Auschwitz. There's no excuse. Then there's the people who should have known f-ing better: Dame Judi Dench and Josh Gad - both of whom who are doing their worst Bat-voice which isn't good but then failing on top of their failure.  Lastly, the effects. Wow. Just six months ago, we were grabbing our torches and pitchforks for the effects of Cats and these guys pushed those people off their bad effects pedestal and then spiked the football. There's this damn centaur who's body's don't match, laser guns that suck, dubious wings on faeries, and then the time vortex. Wow, the time vortex. Artemis Fowl is the worst movie of 2020 thus far and its just one more thing that Covid-19 has robbed from us. We should have been able to view this in the theater and then watch the box office returns not come in. Damn you, COVID!!!! 

Artemis Fowl - Bad way to start the decade

This special episode we discuss the number 13, loads of Tales from The Baywatch, Stay Tuned, Mega-Shark vs Giant Octopus, My Spy, Cut and Run, Sam takes on Email, and Jackie gives us her most entangled Spookie yet out of Romania. Have some gratuitous exclamation points!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Coronasode #13!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Paul, the dubiously employed dirt digger, gets a case of moon brain causing him to become a "were-gorn" and eventually goes to critical mass all while his new girlfriend keeps him away from doctors and his buddy just wants him dead because its dinner-time. Track of the Moon Beast is iconic drive-in/MST3K type material. You're sadly not going to find any surprises here. Just imagine Joel, Crow and Tom sitting down and whatever you can imagine to happen on screen will likely happen. There's just nothing new here for anybody. It falls into the same vein and suffering that Ssssssss does (and sadly last weeks Girl in Gold Boots). There's a smattering of good here but for the most part its 90 minutes of milk-toast. While the makeup and costumes might be some of the worst, what this film does "well" for bad-movie fans is the absolutely terrible script. Its lunacy. Its nonsensical. But again, it's draggy and too few and far between to get to the good stuff.  Sadly, there just isn't much to say here but avoid this without MST3K.

Track of the Moon Beast - Brain clouds are better than moon brain

In a stunning display of some of the worst dancing ever beheld by the eyes of civilization, Michelle really just wants to be the #1 Go-Go dancer in all the world. Standing in her way is two dudes who just want to kiss her at beaches and her own ability to dance like a flopping fish. This movie falls into a very strange category of recommendation. It's truly about as good as other MST3K classics such a Secret Agent, Super Dragon, The Incredibly Strange Creatures who Stopped Living and Became Mixed Up Zombies, or Eegah!. It's your usual terrible writing about youth out of the psychedelia era, it's got lead characters with dubious idioms and of course strange nonsensical dialogue. Yet there's some weird enjoyment that comes along with it as well. It could be that it's a super-star when it comes to riffing. It could come from the characters being absolutely unlikable and the antithesis of what we expect in theatrics character archetypes. Everything is a weird choice stemming from the opening scene, the locations, the weird 6-wheeler sequence, Buz' casting choice, the "heist" sequence, the lamest party ever, on and on it goes. There's a little something for everyone here, it's just a matter if you can riff your way past the other sections to get to the stuff that fits your idea of ironic film watching. We say it's a borderline do if you are in the advanced class for bad movie watching. Otherwise do it with the MST3K.

Girl in Gold Boots - Don't go to haunted house dance clubs

Voted Britain's Worst Movie Ever (by some blokes who must not have a very deep pool to chose from) Carry On Columbus becomes our first foray into the Carry On franchise. I think we can all agree; it's funnier than ACTUAL Columbus. We've entered into this in a very unconventional way. We imagine most viewers of the Carry On franchise have a few of their higher quality films under their belt before watching this - which is obviously going to be inferior. So likely, in those viewing specifications will lead many to absolutely loathe this movie. We don't fall into that camp. This ONLY made us to want to watch even more Carry On. Because if this is the worst, well the others have gotta be pretty good. Sure, it's corny. Sure, it's got some groaners. But there's some generally funny jokes in this. I'd say we laughed out loud about 10 times, which is pretty damn solid. Consider such ducks that we crap out in the US, looking at you Tom Green and Eddie Murphy. When it comes to bad comedy we hold the world crown here in the US. Britain, you need to start making much crappier films before you can start thinking Carry On Columbus is true garbage. Don't expect Caddyshack. Don't even expect Caddyshack II. But this is FAR from Pluto Nash. Despite it's gawdawful reputation we still think this is a good time and worth a watch - start with this one. You'll only want more Carry On.

Carry On Columbus - Britain's Worst Film is Way Better than the US's

Here comes a classic from our archives while we're away. Starring Betsy Russell, this is 80's schlock that rivals the stupidity of Teen Witch. It's completely offensive, chock full of boobs, blatant stupidity by the characters, and has one of the silliest endings of all time. Enjoy!

Tomboy - Stinker Madness Rerun

This coronasode we discuss Sam's new summer drink recipe, we ask if Joey and Chandler ruined America, a fan suggestion for Wacko, Sando takes on Global Economic Crisises and getting his lunch stolen, Troll 3, Contagion, Ready or Not, Blow the Man Down, Vast of Night and Jackie's got a turd of a Spookie out of Scotland.

Coronasode #12 - Troll Orgy

When you gotta remake a Jaws movie, make sure to remake Jaws II, cause you really can't screw it up and here's exhibit A. Expect many exploding dummies, strange sequences and terrible models. In grand 70s/80s Italian film tradition, we've got a direct ripoff of both Quint from Jaws and the plot of Jaws II. In further grand tradition, we've got terrible voice-over, ridiculous action sequences, inept heroes, questionable film ethics, and nonsensical characters. But what really makes The Last Shark shine is the little things. From the start with a very laboring windsurfer, to DJ Exposition, to the daughter's strange habit of falling out of boats, and her mom's absolute lack of care the movie features little non-plot vignettes that leave the viewer thinking about them more than they think about how awful the shark looks - and the shark looks terrible. Let's talk about the shark though (whom we've dubbed Ultimo) - he not only looks terrible but he's a very strange shark. It seems he has two primary "shark moves" - exploding people into the air and just putting his face up above the water as if to say "Hey look at me! I'm a damn shark!". He also employs traps and uses bait. Pretty sure sharks don't do that. When it does come time for him to bite some people, he usually starts with the feet and has a habit of not finishing his dinners. Ultimo is the second best shark of all time (when it comes to being crappy) and is an absolute treat. All Jaws ripoffs should learn a thing from Ultimo. It's not the best crappy shark movie, but it's still a really great ride and is perfect for a group of riffers.

The Last Shark - Quint knows explosions

This week we call to hear from our POC listeners, Jackie earns a new title, Tacoman gets his origin, The Brougham's maiden voyage, Sando Takes on Manual Labor, heroin songs, Upload, The Good Boys, another look at Once Upon a Time in Hollywood, a Jackie Spookie from the land down under and Eyes Wide Shut bang-parties.

Coronasode - Nacho Vidal's bad day

In a formula that you've seen one thousand times before, we get a themed slasher around a date, a plethora of red herrings and a telegraphed and an obvious murderer that makes for a fairly mundane time. The first thing one will notice about Graduation Day is the decision to base the killings all around high school sports - while knowing absolutely nothing about high school sports. The second thing one will notice is who the killer is, within minutes of the movie starting. The third thing one will notice is the gibberish "teen" dialogue. Finally, you'll notice how unbelievably bad every piece of the film actually is. While that all sounds pretty good, Graduation Day suffers from 1/2 of the scenes being completely plot irrelevant and scattered with various characters getting put on screen that never return, have no connection to the story, and even their scenes could be just placed in any other film and fit better. This makes for a fair amount of tedium. It's not that it's not a fun time, it's just that it's an "ok" watch and falls into a pile of slasher films that you could randomly pick from and still have the same level of fun with. It's just too much of relying on the usual slasher formula that can't make it stand out.

Graduation Day - You passed track, now die

This week we discuss Hump Day, a motorhome update, camping bathroom use, some epic level Listener Feedback, Stripped to Kill, The Lovebirds, stripper food, Sando takes on butts and Jackie debunks her own Spookie.

Coronasode #10 - Sam can't find the bathroom

The "Two who are as one" go on a wacky adventure with some very questionable themes all to end up at a ritual that doesn't make a bit of sense with unclear intentions. Buckle up folks, this is one of the best bad movies ever. I don't know what more you could want in a bad movie. There's not a single thing in this film that is done well, yet there's also not a single scene that isn't pure joy to watch. Most bad movies fail in a least a couple scenes for the viewer yet the true masterpieces (Troll 2, America 3000, etc..) are an absolute treat from credits to credits. Sorceress belongs on every top 10 list of so bad it's good. The truly unique thing about Sorceress is how far pass the socially acceptable line it goes. These are things I'm not comfortable writing in a movie review that gets passed to various websites but many of things that happen on screen are illegal in every country in the world. They are THAT bad. And it's all delivered to be comedic and it's icky. The acting is terrible, the plot doesn't make any sense, the action is bonkers, the special effects are the worst ever, and at no point is the viewer ever bored. It's pure stinker magic and belongs in the Hall of Fame.

Sorceress - Way past the line and Hall of Fame worthy

This week's show has a bevvy of listener feedback, some round-table discussions about life under COVID, a new Pop Quiz Hotshot, Sando takes on bad moves, Phantasm, Dolemite is My Name, Sam finally finishes GoT, and the day the clowns died.

Coronasode #9 - Kitty goes missing

Rudy Ray Moore dons the person of Dolemite who may or may not be a pimp, but is definitely awful at karate. In one of the most unique bad movies we've ever reviewed, Dolemite is unforgettable. The major thing that is unique is that at least 90% of the cast is completely stoned. No one is drunk. Which is strange in a strange way. Why are bad movies usually filmed with drunk people but very rarely filled with everyone that is absolutely blazed. It makes for a very unique take in a bad movie. Secondly, is the "masterful" martial arts skill of Rudy Ray. If you've seen Dolemite is my Name, you'll remember Eddie Murphy throwing some pretty terrible knees at guys. He wasn't over-acting. Rudy's skill may come from being high as well. I sure don't like violence or moving when I'm high. Beside, Rudy's amazing performance - You've also got one of the dumbest and poorest executed plots. Let's see if I can break it down - Dolemite is doing a life sentence for some stolen furs and about $200k worth of coke. The warden puts him back into the streets to take over the crime because Willie Green is just too much for the cops to handle. So then Dolemite goes and bangs a bunch of ladies for 45 minutes. Then throws a party that Willie Green shows up to and shoots up the place while Dolemite is changing his clothes for the 30th time in the movie - resulting in Willie getting a death tummy-ache. Then the movie goes on for about 20 more minutes and the mayor is the villain this whole time? It's bonkers, terribly made, rarely accomplishes what it intends and is absolutely intoxicating. It's a must-watch.

Dolemite - Pass that J over, D

Stinker Madness is a bad movie podcast that loves horrible films that might actually be wonderful little gems. Or they could suck. Cult, budget and "bad" movies twice a week.

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Stinker Madness - The Bad Movie Podcast

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