A leader, ashamed of hurtful words she spoke to a colleague, explores what happened with her coach. She learns seven techniques for keeping herself from future emotional hijacks.      Download a free PDF about the seven steps to help you stop emotional hijacks here.This episode is tagged in five categories in the Podcast Library:    Managing YourselfPerception - How You Perceive YourselfPerception - How You’re PerceivedPersonal Growth & Self-DevelopmentSelf-TalkSeven related episodes you might listen to are: #109 Building Emotional Intelligence#147 Conquering Fear#74  Dealing with Emotional Responses#142 The Mindful Executive#22  Negative Self-Talk#103 Self-Awareness & Self-Management# 171 Taming the Wild ChildPost a review and help us cross the 1,000 review mark!As we hurtle into 2022, all of us here at The Look & Sound of Leadership wish you a wonderful year of health, growth, and curiosity.Tom and The Look & Sound of Leadership team. 

The Look & Sound of Leadership

7 Steps to Stop Emotional Hijacks

A leader is given a presentation coach and two goals: ‘tell a better story’ and ‘be more responsive in the moment.’ This episode is the coaching conversation about the second goal: be responsive in the moment.This episode is tagged in four categories in the Podcast Library:Communication SkillsExecutive PresencePresentation Skills Self-TalkSix related episodes you might listen to are: #214 How to Turn Data Into Stories#160Prepping Like a TED Talker#157Talking Like a TED Talker#161Performing Like a TED Talker#77The Power of Rehearsal#65Sorting & LabelingJoin us this month for two free mini-courses facilitated by Susan Smalley:Skills of a Great ManagerLeadership Circle for WomenListen to Tom’s interview on The Remarkable Coach podcast where he and host Michael Pacheco talked about Tom’s 30 years of coaching.Post a review and help us cross the 1,000 review mark!All of us here at The Look & Sound of Leadership wish you a safe, healthy year of growth and curiosity.Tom and The Look & Sound of Leadership team. 

How To Stay Calm Under Fire

A leader is given a presentation coach and two goals: ‘tell a better story’ and ‘be more responsive in the moment.’ This episode is the coaching conversation about telling a better story. There are four tools in the episode:1. Grab our list of questions   [please link to the PDF]2. Build a puzzle for your listeners3. Create a hero in jeopardy4. Work with a partner – cautiously!This episode is tagged in three categories in the Podcast Library:Communication SkillsExecutive PresencePresentation Skills Five related episodes you might listen to are: 3   Stories – The Ultimate Persuaders56 What Compelling Speakers Share77 The Power of Rehearsal84 Making Stories Soar120 Captivate Your Audience 160 Prepping Like a TED TalkerIn January, free mini-courses resume. Check out these two learning opportunities:Skills of a Great ManagerLeadership Circle for WomenAs we approach the threshold of a new year, I wish you curiosity and growth.Thanks for all the support! See you in the new year! Tom and The Look & Sound of Leadership team. 

How To Turn Data into Stories

Worried that working remotely has disconnected her team, a leader asks her coach for help and learns a powerful tool.Being able to lead your team in growth exercises is a critical leadership skill. This episode is full of tips and guidance for strengthening that muscle.Tom strongly endorses the Liberating Structures website. Lots of amazing free resources there.He also recommends a conversation with Dave Stachowiak on Coaching for Leaders about “How to Lead an Offsite.”This episode is tagged in three categories in the Podcast Library:Communication SkillsLeading TeamsManagement SkillsFive related episodes you might listen to are: 143 – Power Tools for Teams: Plus/Delta149 – How Teams Fight175 – Leading Offsites181 - Inviting Dialogue194 - Connecting Over VideoIn January, free mini-courses will resume. Check out these two learning opportunities:Skills of a Great ManagerLeadership Circle for WomenGratitude went to Sarah Brown for having Tom as a guest on an episode of The KTS Success Factor podcast. Hear all the tips here. Gratitude also, as always, to those who reach out to us and to those who post reviews. Thank you so much! Be in touch here.From all of us here at The Look & Sound of Leadership, be well. Stay healthy and safe.  Thanks for listening.See you next month!

How to Re-engage a Team

A no-nonsense leader is asked to add coaching to her list of duties. She turns to the coach who’d coached her for a quick immersion course. Coaching your people requires a shift in thinking and a specific set of behaviors. These ideas are captured in a PDF about the GROW model. It’s available to you for free here.This month we are offering three free mini-courses. Come join us!Demystifying Workplace ConflictUnderstanding Yourself and Others (DiSC)Get 15% off your registration with either of these courses by using the coupon code PODCAST at checkout. Offer applies to your first registration.The Look & Sound of LeadershipGet 50% off our flagship course with the coupon code LEADERSHIP at checkout!During the episode, Tom and Laurel mentioned Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When the Stakes are High. A great skill-building resource.This episode lives in three categories in the Podcast Library:Management SkillsPerception – How you Perceive OthersRelationship Building.Five related episodes you might listen to are: 132 – Coaching Your People 91 – Facilitating Open Dialogue   155 – The Human Element83 – Leadership and Listening  26 – Questions as LeadershipYou can explore more ideas about coaching your people on Dave Stachowiak’s Coaching For Leaders podcast. Episode 190: How to Improve Your Coaching Skills.Tom raved about Dave’s conversation with Connson Locke. That’s on Coaching for Leadership, Episode 546: How to Speak Up. Catch Tom answering coaching questions on the Unlocking Leadership – Ask the Coaches podcast. How To Build Executive PresenceHow to Become a Strategic ThinkerRebuilding Engagement prior to Restructuring, Can an Executive Coach Help?Gratitude, as always, to those who reach out to us and to those who post reviews. Thanks!From all of us here at The Look & Sound of Leadership, be healthy and safe. Thanks for listening.See you next month!

How To Coach Your People

Frustrated at not showing up the way she wants to, a leader, in conversation with her coach, explores ways to integrate her values into her behavior.To show up as more of whatever you want to be, ask yourself: What would be different if I were a little braver right now?What would a brave person do right now?What would I think, or what would I feel, if I were my bravest self right now?How is my self-talk helping how I show up?How is my self-talk holding me back in how I show up?(Substitute your own spine word for “brave.”)Three books to build muscle around how you show up. Leadership & Self-Deception. Change Your Questions, Change Your Life.The Four Agreements.The PDF “Six Books for Growth” is available here. Or email Tom and he’ll send it to you.This episode connects to two previous episodes featuring Chin-Sun: How to Build Your Self-Awareness and How to Grow Your Self-Management.On September 7, a new podcast featuring Tom goes live: “Unlocking Leadership – Ask the Coaches.” Available online, on your podcast app and YouTube.Meet our fabulous facilitators and browse our catalogue of courses.Courses currently open for registration are:Dare to Lead – full courseCareer Wellness – free mini-course Improv for Leadership – free mini-courseGet 15% off your first course with the promo code: PODCASTThis episode is in the library under four filters:For WomenManaging YourselfSelf-TalkFive specific episodes you might listen to are: 71. Act As If162. Acting on the Corporate Stage174. Animating Your Persona154.  Self-Limiting Beliefs176.  The Executive ImpostorGratitude, as always, to those who reach out to us and those who post reviews. Thanks!From all of us here at The Look & Sound of Leadership, be healthy and safe. Thanks for listening.See you next month!

How To Show Up

In this episode, a leader feels she lacks courage. She engages her coach in a conversation about how to use self-awareness and self-management as tools to help her become a little bolder.The self-talk scripts discussed in this episode, plus the four-box process Tom described, are available to you in a PDF. You can request it in an email to Tom here or you can download the PDF here.Other resources mentioned in this episode:Last month’s episode connects (like Pop Beads!) to this episode: How to Build Self-AwarenessE.Q. Applied by Justin Bariso – a helpful, friendly book chock-full of exercises.Nathaniel Branden’s work on self-esteem – profound thoughts and powerful prompts.Dan Harris’s podcast 10% HappierMeet our fabulous facilitators and browse our catalogue of courses.Courses currently open for registration are:Dare to Lead – free mini-course and full courseCareer Wellness – free mini-course Get 15% off your first course with the promo code: PODCASTThis episode is in the library under four filters:AssertivenessDeveloping New BehaviorsManaging YourselfSelf-TalkFive specific episodes you might listen to are: 162. Acting on the Corporate Stage109. Building Emotional Intelligence110. Creating New Behaviors176. The Executive Impostor25. How Behaviors ChangePlus a bonus episode:103. Self-Awareness & Self-ManagementMuch gratitude to those of you who reach out to us and those who post reviews. Thank you!From all of us here at The Look & Sound of Leadership, be healthy and safe.  Thanks for listening.See you next month!

How To Grow Your Self-Management

Self-awareness, like any muscle, can be built through discipline.In this episode, a leader learns two exercises to help build awareness of her thoughts and feelings.The two exercises discussed in this episode are detailed in a PDF that we’d love to send you. Send us an email and we’ll send back the PDF. The PDF also contains the Feeling Words Grid.Other resources mentioned in this episode: E.Q. Applied by Justin Bariso – a helpful, friendly book chock-full of exercises.Sort the episode library using the filter Feedback. Good feedback will build your self-awareness, for sure!Five episodes to listen to: #103 Self-Awareness & Self-Management #109 Building Emotional Intelligence#25 How Behaviors Change#142 The Mindful Executive#190 Thinking ErrorsGratitude to those who are in touch and who post reviews.From the entire team at The Look & Sound of Leadership, be well. And thanks for listening.See you next month!

How To Build Self-Awareness

A new leader worries about having to become a dictator in order to meet her goals. She and her coach explore the challenges inherent in trying to be a truly democratic leader.Core concepts in this episode:When pressured, many leaders revert to giving orders.People need time to feel safe speaking up to a new leader.A democratic leader doesn’t have to give everyone their way, just give everyone their say.When listening to ideas, just listen. Don’t fix or tweak or improve.The Essential Communications website has many free resources for you.The entire archive of episodes going back more than a decade is free and available to you.Categories in the archive related to this episode are: Leading Teams Leadership Perception – How You’re PerceivedRelated episodes are: How Teams Fight Inviting Dialogue Psychological Safety Taming Meetings The Conflict ConversationIf you’d like to be a tester for the new Essential Communications website, shoot Tom an email.In this episode, Tom mentioned:A progressive elementary school in Van Nuys, CA. The school is Children’s Community School.Nice Girls Don’t Get the Corner Office by Lois FrankelDare to Lead by Brené Brown Tom’s conversation with Ben Ritter on “The Live for Yourself Revolution.”COACHES! Join Tom at the Executive Coaching Special Interest Group sponsored by the Los Angeles Chapter of ICF. Non-members pay $10 to attend. This month’s topic: Team & Group Coaching. 

The Democratic Leader

A leader, initially described to his coach as clueless, confronts a hard truth about himself. In the process, he gains a four-step tool to guide him through tough conversations. Core Concepts in this episode: To convey a tough message and maintain a positive relationship: 1. Start with a full-stop. Act, don’t RE-act. Identify why this conversation is important. 2. Express intention. Say why you’re having the conversation and what your concerns are. 3. Be clear. Be simple. Identify what you wish were different specifically. 4. Attend to the relationship. At every step, even in the conversation, consider the other person. Related Archive Categories: Communication Skills Management Skills Relationship Skills Related Tips & Episodes: Combating Emotional Hijacks The Conflict Conversation A Difficult Conversation Short Sounds Confident Smoothing Harsh Edges Books to boost your skills in tough conversation: Difficult Conversations Crucial Conversations   The library of all the past episodes is at: https://essentialcomm.com/podcast Subscribe to the HTML version at: https://essentialcomm.com/subscribe/ Be in touch with Tom at: https://essentialcomm.com/contact/ Thanks to all of you who are in touch and who post reviews. Much gratitude! See you next month!

Tough Conversations

This month’s coaching conversation explores ways to make feedback more palatable. The secret: sort the feedback you receive into three distinct categories. Many ideas in this episode and last month’s episode are explained more fully in the book: ‘Thanks for the Feedback: The Science and Art of Receiving Feedback Well – even when it is off base, unfair, poorly delivered and, frankly, you’re not in the mood.’” Related episodes are: Unblocking Feedback (from last month) Don’t Take Anything Personally Getting Good Feedback Handling Feedback Effectively Perception is Reality In the archive, this Tip is tagged in three categories Feedback Leadership Managing Yourself Tom has three leadership interviews that have gone live this month: Coaching For Leaders: Episode 518 A deep 40-min dive into “Sorting & Labeling" Fidelis Leadership Podcast: Episode 37 A wide-ranging 60-min exploration of leadership Ultimate Leadership Podcast: 02/08/21 A fast-paced 25-min examination of your readiness for coaching The archive of Executive Coaching Tips is available at: http://essentialcomm.com/podcast/ Subscribe to the HTML version at: https://essentialcomm.com/subscribe/ Be in touch with Tom at: info@essentialcomm.com See you next month! From all of us on “The Look & Sound of Leadership” team — thanks!      

Understanding Feedback

This month’s coaching conversation follows a client as he works to shrink his blind spot through feedback. He and Tom discuss lowering the barriers that stop us all from taking in feedback. In the episode Tom mentions “Thanks for the Feedback” by Douglas Stone and Sheila Heen. Tom also mentioned the PDF showing The Johari Window.   Related episodes are: Feedback Leadership Managing Yourself Perception – How You Perceive Yourself   Five related episodes you might listen to are: Getting Good Feedback Handling Feedback Effectively Perception is Reality Performance Reviews Soliciting Feedback   The full archive of episodes is at: http://essentialcomm.com/podcast/ Subscribe to the HTML version at: https://essentialcomm.com/subscribe/ Be in touch with Tom at: tom@essentialcomm.com See you next month! From all of us on “The Look & Sound of Leadership” team — thanks!

Unblocking Feedback

This month’s coaching conversation features a leader too talented to lose but too troublesome to keep. Tom talks with him about blind spots and how he might reduce his. PDFs for you: The Johari Window Who’s Coachable Win an hour of free coaching with Tom. Complete our survey. The full archive is at: https://essentialcomm.com/podcast Related Archive Categories: Perception – How You Perceive Yourself Self-Talk Managing Yourself Personal Growth & Self-Development Related Episodes: Thinking Errors Boundaries The Executive Impostor Combatting Emotional Hijacks Self-Awareness & Self-Management   Subscribe to the HTML version at: https://essentialcomm.com/subscribe/ Be in touch with Tom at: https://essentialcomm.com/contact/ Thanks for completing the survey. We’re excited to share the new website we’re building for you. Thanks again for posting reviews! Stay positive. Test negative. See you next month!

Blind Spots

In this special episode, Tom tells a story of being onstage one night in front of a packed theatre audience when the show most definitely did NOT go on. He also shares the lesson he learned from that calamity — a lesson he has subsequently shared with the hundreds of leaders he’s coached who need confidence as presenters.   The archive of all the past episodes is available at: http://essentialcomm.com/podcast/   Subscribe to the HTML version at: https://essentialcomm.com/subscribe/   Be in touch with Tom at: info@essentialcomm.com   From all of us on “The Look & Sound of Leadership” team — enjoy!

The Show Must Go On

This month’s coaching conversation is between Tom and Courtney, another executive coach. What traits, they wonder, do effective executives share? If rising leaders wanted to reverse engineer what it means to be executives, what would they put in the mix? The five qualities Tom and Courtney identify are: Resilience -- get over hurts and setbacks  Influence – build a natural reserve of strong relationships  Organization –  create lead-time and eliminate fire drills  Scope – maintain the highest altitude possible; resist the weeds Speed of Thought – exert alertness and be mentally nimble   At the end of this month’s commentary, Tom lists six books, each one different, but all leading towards personal growth and professional development. They are… Change Your Questions, Change Your Life The Confidence Code Crucial Conversations or Difficult Conversations EQ Applied Self-Esteem at Work The Four Agreements   Want a free PDF of these titles, including who might prefer which? Click here and put “6 Books” in the subject line. We’ll send you the PDF.   Want to win an hour of free coaching with Tom? Complete this short survey to be entered in a drawing. https://essentialcomm.com/survey/   To dig deeper into your own development, search the episode archive using these filters: Executive Presence Managing Yourself 

The Executive Executive

An ongoing series of Executive Coaching Tips designed to help you be perceived in the workplace the way you want to be perceived.