 Oh, snap! A Big Hack! Yes, yes, of COURSE we talk in-depth about the huge multi-country, multi-target WannaCry / WannaCrypt / WannaCrypt0r hack. In fact, we even discuss motives, methods, history, and resolution of the hack by way of Mitcz over-explaining boring technical details of the code involved. But, like any good sandwich, the meat is in the middle where we talk about security, Artificial Intelligence, Apple, Amazon, our boyfriend Elon Musk, Netflix, and a whole lot more weird news in and around the tech world. Also, for the first time ever, this one features a “coming up next time on Vulgar Tech…” teaser. There’s just so much going on!

Vulgar Tech

016 : Keyloggers, Hackers, RansomWare, and a Bunch of Weird Tech News

 We kick things off this week with some exciting Riffopolis Network news, before delving into Amazon’s latest whacky Echo product : a style assistant? Yes, an AI Style Assistant in a webcam. Alex gets very upset about it and rants and raves wildly. We discuss a new software API for artificial voiceover creation – and debating the merits of such a tool. Moving into one of our favorite topics, we discuss the new Arlan Robotics “Service Droid” (which is just a fancy way of saying it’s a robot that sucks your… well, you get the idea) and get into very detailed and lewd discussion of technique and enjoyment. Other topics include : Larry Page (of Google)’s new “flying car” project, why Mark Zuckerberg is insane, commercials that utilize voice-based assistant tech to advertise on their behalf, and rounding out with an in-depth discussion of the nascent Lab Grown Meat industry.

015 : AI Style Assistants, Robot Voices, Robot Sex Toys, Augmented Reality, and Lab Grown Meat

 Hey look! We’re kinda keeping something of a schedule here! Okay, let’s talk about the episode… We start off with tangents about Amazon’s Alexa, then move into a proposed “pinball for rent” business idea while also discussing tech that only the uber-rich have (and can afford). From there, we discuss why Lyft doesn’t understand April Fools’ Day (aka “Internet Douchebag Day”) before delving into a discussion about a hacked camera-dildo device, which leads to Alex defining a new term : “Mandelberg’s Law” which, distilled to its core, is “any device with a computer inside of it will inspire someone to hack it”, while Mitcz tries to propose an easy and secure solution for the lackluster security standards for the Internet of Things. We also discuss the maybe-devil of internet startups (seriously, you might punch something when you hear about it), some exciting Apple news (they pretend to care again about their pro users), before delving into two of our favorite topics : Elon Musk and the growing industry of self-driving vehicles. It’s a long, but — we think — entertaining and perhaps fascinating episode that’ll keep you busy until we stop being lazy long enough to do this again. But we’re getting better! Let us know what YOU wanna hear about and maybe we’ll talk about it.

014 : Hackers, Mandelberg’s Law, Lyft & Uber Morality, Autopilot, and More!

 We’re baaaaack! Hello 2017! This being our first podcast in the new year, we kick things off with our weird tech predictions (spoiler : Mitcz’s predictions are weird and nerdy, Alex’s are lofty). We  also discuss other company’s predictions like Uber’s master plan for flying cars, and Amazon’s master plan for automated grocery stores. We explore Twitter and Facebook’s tech reactions to the 2016 U.S. Elections (and what Twitter is doing about trolls), before moving into our favorite discussions of morality and utility as we learn about the first planned head transplant to take place this December, 2017. To round it all out, we touch on Alex’s favorite topic – SPORTS! – by way of exploring the world of dating apps and Mitcz blows Alex’s mind by showing him the private, invite-only “Tinder for Celebrities” (that both of them aren’t allowed to be on).

013 : Predictions, Flying Cars, Human Head Transplants, Trolls, Dating Apps and More!

 Since we finally started doing new VT episodes again, we’re doing time-relevant tech updates and speculation again! And almost none of them are Apple-related! We discuss the restaurant industry, Alex’s fascinating theory on McDonalds, Netflix, Snapchat’s weird new hardware device that will usher in the acceptance of a loss of privacy, how shitty Yahoo is – was – and continues to be, a rat birth control product, and SO much about self-driving & autonomous cars. Finally, we end on a discussion of madman (and suspected robot) Elon Musk, and his plans to bring SpaceX to Mars and just WTF that means for humanity, space exploration, technology, and the human race.

012 : Elon Musk is a robot. Also, tech updates that aren’t Apple-related!

 The Apple iPhone 7 / Watch 2 event went down the day before this episode was recorded and we sat down to discuss it. Mitcz makes his attempt at an impassioned case for the removal of the headphone jack, while Alex gets pissy about the price on the AirBuds. We also talk a lot about Alex’s recent switch from a Samsung Android phone to an iPhone 6. Tesla Autopilot saves a man’s life, so… of course we talk about self-driving cars. This is posted much later than it was recorded because we didn’t like the audio quality of it, but after recording another take a week later, we realized the content was more important than the audio quality. Sorry.

011 : Apple iPhone 7 Event, Alex Makes the Switch, and More Tesla Stuff

 We’re back after a two week hiatus – sorry! But we’ve got a lot of little tech morsels — some of them vulgar — for you. From the “Uber for Gas” and “Uber for Tailoring” to Google’s proposed new OS for the Internet of Things, to IKEA’s official Hack system, to Nintendo’s curious VP of Sales. We also clear the air about the rumor of Netflix running ads, while Alex goes off on a rant about the importance of advertising, which leads to Twitter’s terrible advertising system (and their sheer idiocy in auto-approving Promoted Tweets). We delve into the world of teledildonics and VR porn. Mitcz says “yawn”, Alex says “wait and see…” as we debate the merits and pitfalls of various futuristic sex devices. We round out the show with a discussion about Ross Ulbricht’s life sentence, a discussion of Silk Road, and whether or not the sentence was fair.

010 : The Uber for Things, The Internet of Things, Teledildonics, VR Porn, and Silk Road

 Sorry we were late this week. It’s been crazy around here. We start off with a correction, and a couple of quick news items — like the fall of the House of Keurig (okay.. “fall” is a little strong. The weakening?), and some Amazon Echo enhancements. With Google finally testing its self-driving cars on public roads, we re-visit the world of self-driving cars, which somehow leads into a an in-depth discussion of road-head, masturbation, sex toys, and cunnilingus. We end the episode talking about Oculus Rift and other Virtual Reality headsets and technologies, the future of videogames, a quick review of “Mortal Kombat X”, and compare our favorite party games of all time.

009 : Cars! Virtual Reality! Road-Head! Videogames!

 Mitcz is pleased that he successfully predicted (with some caveats) two stories that are tackled this week. We talk about Tesla’s new home battery, why it’s worthwhile, and whether it’s useful beyond its intended target. We also discuss self-driving semi trucks, and what the future holds, debate about what laws should be made, and the efficacy of computer-driven driving machines. In addition to several new products hitting the market — both of which entice Alex — we also discuss Microsoft’s plans for the upcoming Windows 10 roll-out.

008 : Mitcz’s Predictions, Tesla’s Home Battery, Self-Driving Semi Trucks, Battle of the Smartphones

 We discuss Tesla’s secret-but-not-secret upcoming home battery project, which evolves into discussing their vehicles and vehicles in general. Alex gets an education about what The Singularity actually entails, and we discuss the morality of becoming “one”. After running through some recent tech news, we settle into a discussion about Google’s hope for defeating patent trolls, and debate the utility of patents in general. Our final story is about John Deere’s DMCA bullying of farmers trying to work on their own tractors, which John Deere claims their customers no longer own outright, leading to a discussion and debate about what is ownership, and whether or not companies have a right to enforce limits on software in the hands of end-users.

007 : Tesla, The Singularity, Patents, The DMCA, and What is Ownership?

 We start off with a discussion about our now-smarter home. A lot happened in a week, and we now have a Smart Speaker (Amazon Echo), a Smart Thermostat (Nest 2.0), and a Smart Lock (Kwikset Kevo). We talk about the plusses and minuses of each, the actual usefulness of each, and some upcoming features announced for our Kevo smart lock. From there, we move on to a discussion of Android updates to non-Google devices, and why Samsung is the security guard in the hotel room when you hire a hooker (it makes more sense in context). We meant to just brush past a quick note about Star Wars hitting iTunes, but it turned into well over half the show being about Star Wars. If you hate Star Wars, I’d apologize, but you have no soul so it doesn’t really matter.

006 : Our Smarter Home, Android Updates, and a LOT of Star Wars

 Our Amazon Echo arrived earlier than anticipated. After an initial estimate of April 24th, Mitcz got an email on Tuesday that it was on its way and would arrive Thursday. It arrived the following day (today). So, as promised, we unboxed it here on this episode and ran “Alexa” through her paces. We even Periscope’d a good portion of the episode (including the actual unboxing). At 14:10, Mitcz accidentally makes a request to Alexa that not only elicits a hilarious response, but leads to us shouting all sorts of things at the Echo because of how she handles vulgar language. Listen as Mitcz & Alex talk about the ups and downs of this new “Smart Speaker” device.

005 : Bonus : Amazon Echo Unboxing, First Impressions

 Quite a few tangents in this episode as we successfully test and broadcast with Periscope, and Mitcz explains why it didn’t work last time. Since his issues with Periscope were related to two-factor authentication, Mitcz rants about his frustration with companies not fully supporting the two-factor authentication they themselves developed (and explains WTF two-factor authentication means). Alex again accuses Mitcz of being an obsessed Apple fanatic, which Mitcz tries in vain to explain and define. We also talk about our love of boobs, and how they can heal the heaviest of hearts. The episode ends with news of the Apple Watch selling out in 6 hours, Mitcz explaining why not to buy one right now, and how wrong tech pundits tend to be in Apple predictions, and how much of a douchebag Steve Ballmer is.

004 : Periscope Redux, Passwords, Mitcz’s Apple Policy, Boobs are Awesome, Apple Watch

 Finally moving past “He Who Shall Not Be Named”, we get into a user-submitted suggestion of discussing Meerkat and Periscope and the drama that surrounds it. We even tried to use Periscope live on the air, and came to the conclusion that it’s too buggy to bother with and quite a load of crap. We also discuss the upcoming trend of computers-on-a-stick that can turn any TV into a computer with a simple HDMI port, and how that might change computing. Amazon’s new “Dash Button” service is discussed, and Mitcz gives pro tips on how to avoid phishing scams (and also WTF a phishing scam actually is).

003 : Meerkat vs Periscope, HDMI Computer Sticks, Amazon’s Dash Buttons and Phishing

 As promised during last week’s episode, Mitcz finally watched CitizenFour and took copious notes. In this episode, Mitcz discusses the few issues he had with the documentary itself, does some fact-checking, runs a ridiculous math explanation on the numbers Edward Snowden used during the doc, and expresses his feelings about Snowden. Alex disagrees with Mitcz’s contention of Snowden’s actions at first, but gets dangerously close to actually agreeing with him towards the end. This episode is 2 hours of basically just that discussion, so if you’re tired of hearing about the NSA, Snowden, the CitizenFour documentary, or internet security, then you’re gonna hate this. But, in all likelihood, there’s some new and interesting information and discussion here that you’ve probably not heard before.

002 : Edward Snowden, CitizenFour, Patriotism, and the NSA

This ain’t y0 mama’s tech podcast. We talk about tech with a slant towards mature subjects, comprised of both a lifelong nerd plus a nearly-technophobic co-host – complex subjects are analyzed and explained.