Miscellaneous
After going through the rollercoaster of emotions over the past few months, there is one topic that has arisen for me a number of times, and it’s one that we sorely need to talk about, especially as women – being angry. Too often shackled by society’s attitude toward women and anger, many of us have never actually been taught about this most powerful emotion, how to validate it or express it in a healthy manner. Well, I’m here to tell you, that all changes today. We’ll start off by looking at the importance of actually learning how to be angry, the traditional narrative that works against women in this regard and the impact it has, the reality of internalized misogyny even amongst women, and some findings from a study examining women’s anger. I’ll share with you some beautiful and transformative words from the poet David Whyte regarding anger, explore the concept of productive anger, and then run through some ways we can all use the information shared here today including how to validate and express anger in a healthy way and how to become comfortable with it. As my call to action for you, I finish off with some reflective questions you can ask yourself to help identify your anger, see it in a different light, and put its immense power to work for you so you never end up settling. As always, if there is ever a topic you would like me to discuss, a guest you’d like me to interview on the podcast, or feedback you wish to offer, please feel free to contact me at pr@kellytravis.net - I would love to hear from you! The Finer Details of This Episode: Learning how to be angry The traditional narrative regarding anger and gender Internalized misogyny The impact of this traditional narrative Some findings of a study examining women’s anger Poet David Whyte’s thoughts on anger Productive anger What we can do with this information Finding ways to validate and express anger in a healthy way Getting comfortable with being angry Questions to ask yourself Quotes: “I want you to get fucking angry.” “Adults react to anger as almost acceptable in boys, but not girls. And little girls are told to use a nicer voice, a softer voice, more often than boys.” “Is it any wonder that women suppress their voices, and shy away from asserting themselves? I mean, we've literally been living this narrative forever.” “If there's a woman that expresses anger, she's probably seen as irrational or crazy or out of control or there must be something wrong with her - maybe it's her hormones, or maybe she started her period.” “We leave anger to be okay for white men…everybody else, there's something wrong with us. This narrative tells us that it's not feminine to be angry. It's a narrative that is so ingrained in our society that, as I said, it even exists among women.” “We're born with a voice, but we're discouraged from using it, and it's not uncommon for this voice to turn on us and become a critic, or cause a lot of mental and emotional and physical health issues.” “We've been taught to ignore or deny the anger, and when it comes, we make excuses for it.” “It gives us power. It gives us power to stay out of the victim mentality space and move into being in charge, taking ownership.” “Anger without love is hate. But love without anger is hollow.” “If we tap into the softness, the compassion, the reason for the anger, then that changes things, right? Learning to work with our anger is really important and can be really powerful.” “We can be angry and still, you know, show that we have care and love.” “Frustration that’s shared any constructive way that's nonviolent, can foster, you know, deeper conversations, can repair relationships, can improve all of those things.” “When we allow ourselves to experience that anger, it can help us notice what we need, it can help us figure out how to take care of ourselves.” “What we also know about anger is when we hide it, it has negative consequences.” “Chronic anger is linked to a lot of health issues.” “What is my anger trying to do for me?” “There's a lot of hate, but we need anger with care, so that we can get some shit done.” Show Links: Kelly’s homepage - www.kellytravis.net Ascend Mastermind - www.kellytravis.net/ascend David Whyte's 'Consolations' University of Tennessee study