Education
First of all, how can we possibly know how people SHOULD love us? Letting go of all my shoulds has been the hardest thing for me to do. I want to believe that people should do things the way I think they should. But as Byron Katie always says, when you “turn it around rather than waiting for someone else to do it is the end of the road not traveled”. I love the turn around technique she teaches, it helps me really put things into perspective and switch my focus off the person I’m judging and allows for my own introspection. I can then ask myself how I might be doing the very same thing I think others should NOT being doing. For example, when I want someone to stop being so critical of me. I usually discover that I too am being critical by criticizing that others should not criticize me. Or when I yell at the kids for yelling at each other. I often get angry at them for fighting with each other but in turn I end up arguing with them about arguing with each other. "Shoulds" are just our own biases and opinions. “As you inquire into issues and turn judgements around, you come to see that every perceived problem appearing “out there” is really nothing more than a misperception within your own thinking.”